Fritz Piepenburg, “Representing the Unification Movement in Yemen”

Sana'a, 1983. With pupils from the Sana a police.

"What are you doing here'?" -- This question is commonly asked among people of the still small foreign community in Yemen upon meeting each other in one of the few supermarkets or in any of the embassy compounds. And as it turns out, most of the foreign residents in Sana'a, the capital of North Yemen, are either diplomats representing their nation or aid workers with one of the numerous development agencies. An answer like mine, introducing myself as a representative of the Unification movement, is an unusual one.

The Unification movement is not easily associated with a particular nation or well-known organization, and thus I have to explain more. As soon as I mention Unification Church and the founder, Reverend Sun Myung Moon, people understand. Almost every Westerner knows at least something about Father and the church. However, I am not happy with their quick conclusion, calling me a religious missionary.

There is nothing wrong with the title "missionary" itself. After all, each foreigner, knowingly or unknowingly, represents his own cultural background and values to his friends and acquaintances. An embassy is nothing else but a "mission" of its home country. The ambassador, it follows, is the chief missionary of his own country and indeed his entire civilization. What I don't like is the association with overzealous Christian missionaries (who never had any great success in Muslim Yemen), who followed their deep conviction that only a radical change of beliefs and lifestyle could save their hosts from certain doom in the nether pits of hell. Questions like "How many converts could you make?" or "Don't you think it is difficult to convert Muslims into Christians?" fall exactly into this line. Nothing could be further from my true intention and purpose for staying in a country like Yemen.

The beauty of the Unification movement is that it embraces people of all religious and racial backgrounds, emphasizing their God-given value as members of the same human family. The acceptance of my neighbor as an equal brother, no matter how different he may live and how backward he may seem to me, is only possible through the love of God manifested in the True Parents. We, representatives of the Unification movement all over the world, are flag bearers of this parental love, with a deep and genuine appreciation for all people and their different beliefs. Usually my answer to those quickly asked questions as mentioned above is: "If I were only here to gain Christian converts. I surely would have left Yemen a long time ago and in utter frustration."

Then why am I still here in this country, after staying almost continuously for ten years, when the diplomat and aid worker will only stay for two years or three at most?

You must like it here," they suggest. This time I can readily agree: loving the people and country has always been the underlying theme of my years spent in Yemen. Love had sent me here in the first place and love has kept me alive. It is not just a feeling of liking the country because of its stimulating and ex- citing nature. A different kind of love stems from God's commandment to love each other as brothers and sisters of the one Heavenly Parent. When I examine my own love for the people and the country, I suddenly understand God's love for Yemen. It is a love that has never changed since the earliest times of the country's settlement: but a love that always was prevented from manifesting and substantiating itself. This is the fundamental dilemma that exists between God and my country.

The Beginning Years

My first few years in Yemen, while I was living together with the American and Japanese brothers, were dedicated to discovering the true nature and identity of our assignment. It was so vastly different from anything we were used to. I remember walking in the streets of Sana'a during the first few days after my arrival, not knowing if I were awake or dreaming! The men wearing skirts, turbans, and huge daggers; the women completely shrouded in black; the multicolored window arches of the stone and clay houses; the strange noises and smells that came from every corner -- it all made me feel as if I were living in a dreamland -- a fairy land from the tales of A Thousand and One Nights.

Dressed in my European clothes with my pale white face, I felt that I came from a different planet, or at least from a different age in history. Then, after getting over my initial bewilderment, I began to develop an intense interest in the people --in what they think and talk about, their concerns, their joys and worries, and what they think about us, the Westerners and Christians.

In order to understand and communicate with the people we had to learn their language. This was the first task the three of us embarked upon with great zeal and enthusiasm. During the first six months that we could stay together and study (later we each had to leave because of visa problems). We were visited by Yemeni friends each day in the afternoon. They were all young men, almost boys, whom we had briefly met in the streets and who just were interested in those strange foreigners.

Only very few could speak a limited, broken English, bringing to our awareness the fact that Yemen was never touched by Western culture, much less by Western colonialism. Indeed the country opened its gates to the rest of the world only five years ago, at the end of a long and bloody civil war that overthrew the all-powerful Imam and replaced the monarchy with a modern republic. When we carefully tried to find out the religious beliefs of our guests, we realized there was little common ground upon which to explain the Principle as we understood it. Yemen has no Christian foundation, and in order to pass on Father's teaching, we had to thoroughly familiarize ourselves with its history, traditions, and religion.

With my pupils, just before they left for Germany. Sana'a, 1982.

Lessons Learned From My Country

I have never regretted having studied deeply the history, religion, and tradition of my mission country. By understanding and appreciating its cultural heritage, I could understand and appreciate my own. Yemen's history is much older than that of the West -- even of Europe, the so-called "Old World." While South Arabian kingdoms experienced a highly advanced civilization during the first millennium B.C., the contemporary "Europeans" wandered as primitive tribes through the forests.

The religion of Islam has many impressive aspects, if studied carefully in light of the Principle. Its deep faith in God and consequent submission to divine law and order ("Muslim" means one who surrendered unto God) leave little room for atheistic or materialistic worldviews. Islamic education does not struggle over the question of whether to teach creationism or Darwin's evolution theory. There simply isn't any doubt that anything other than God's purposeful power of creation could be the prime force of all existing beings. What impresses me most as a member of Western society, however, are the strong human bonds that forge the Yemeni family into a powerful fortress and a stronghold of society.

Ever since I first taught Yemeni students to prepare them for years of study in Germany, I have silently observed their behavior and lifestyle in family relationships. One pupil, Abdulqawi, taught me how eight brothers can live together in just one large room and keep a relaxed atmosphere of friendship and mutual support. I remember being stunned by the natural order that existed among the brothers; how the younger respected and followed the elder, and the elder in return took care and felt responsible for the younger. At lunchtime it was always up to the oldest brother, acting in the position of their absent father, to distribute the little meat they had. He would purposely give himself less than everybody else to quell any feeling of jealousy or greed.

Another pupil taught me how to respect one's parents. Hamood, when he received his first vacation after two years in Germany, cut his holiday exactly in half and spent the first half with his father, working in Saudi Arabia. Only then did he go back home to his own wife and children. When I asked him why he decided to do this, he answered, "I am first of all the son of my father. He loves me like no one else and I can make him very happy by spending some of my free time with him."

There is a certain beauty in this attitude that we miss in our technically advanced Western world. In a Semitic society such as that of Yemen, homes for the aged, where they are separated from their grown children, are simply unthinkable. The parents always hold a position of honor and respect at home, no matter how big the new families of their sons and daughters have become.

A Divided Country

Yemen is a divided country, much like Korea or Germany. South Yemen, with its free port of Aden, was originally the more advanced part of the country. The British authorities, showing little interest in the hinterland, developed Aden into a busy port comparable to Hong Kong and Singapore. Aden always had a cosmopolitan flair, with people of all races and beliefs living peacefully side by side. There were ancient mosques, churches, places for Hindu worship, and even synagogues for the Jewish minority in earlier times.

I was talking once with an Australian member of the Red Sea Mission (a fundamentalist Christian mission that has since been kicked out of Yemen), who recalled with much enthusiasm the days under British rule when they could freely work in Aden. They were free to invite anybody to their seminars and gatherings and occasionally would pass out literature and even Bibles on the streets of Aden.

Famous schools attracted thousands of bright young people from the northern mountains. Many of the current leading figures in North and South Yemen's political and social life received their first education in British schools. Aden was the educational, cultural, and economical center of Yemen. Unfortunately, prompted by a series of mistakes by the British authorities, a small group of communist-trained revolutionaries led an uprising and declared a People's Republic in 1967 -- a tragic event in Yemen's history.

South Yemen was lost and God's providence had to shift from south to north. From then on, Sana'a began to grow by leaps and bounds, expanding to more than five times its original size and hosting an increasing number of international organizations and foreign diplomatic missions. God has surely been working hard in these few decades.

What It Means To Represent the Unification Movement in Yemen

The challenge in our work in Yemen has been the same throughout the years: How can this country be connected to God's providence for the 20th century? Or in other words, how can the blessing and benefit of True Parents' foundation reach down to a faraway and tiny place like Yemen? It is a challenge that is not met easily. Direct evangelism, as we are used to doing in our home countries, is impossible. Any political or religious campaigning is a violation of the laws. Only after establishing close ties of personal friendship can one talk about the Principle confidentially. Slide presentations about the great Blessing in Korea or the 120-day training I attended recently, including close-up pictures of Father, provide precious opportunities to explain more about our movement.

However, the best and most successful links between the Unification movement and Yemen so far were established on a cultural, not religious, level. When the first Yemeni professor attended the Eighth International Conference on the Unity of the Sciences in 1979, I was thrilled by the idea that he would meet with Father and even shake hands with him. Others would follow after him and even attend the Introductory Seminars on the Unification Movement. (ISUM for the Middle East, however, does need some adaptation to the Muslim view of the universe.)

We have hope for the important role the Professors World Peace Academy can play in the Middle East, including Yemen. Cultural events and seminars on a Middle Eastern regional level, rather than on a national level, seem to be more feasible and practical. The World Media Conference provides another precious opportunity to connect Yemenis with Father's global task of unifying the world. The field of communications is just being discovered and developed by Yemeni students, most of whom studied the subject in American universities.

Religious outreach is much more difficult, and we haven't yet found the proper approach. Ironically, communist countries like the Soviet Union have better religious contacts in the Middle East than we have. Once a year or so the entire Muslim leadership of Yemen is invited by the "Soviet Islamic High Council" on a well-prepared and carefully guided tour through the southern "Islamic" provinces of Russia. Government-sponsored delegations of Soviet Muslims frequently visit Yemen and are received by such dignitaries as the Grand Mufti of the Republic, the Minister of Awqaf, and even the President himself. There are two major obstacles to inviting those powerful religious leaders to one of the conferences sponsored by the International Religious Foundation (IRF). Since they speak only Arabic, the entire conference should be aided by well-trained interpreters; or, even better, be conducted in their language entirely. Second, the conference should be formally organized by an Islamic organization in an Islamic environment to make them feel comfortable and relaxed.

On a personal level, I can see great progress being made through having my own family. In the eyes of the Arabs it is very unusual for any young man to stay alone for so many years, away from his parent's home and without a family of his own. Such a person is regarded as "cut from the tree" -- the tree being his family and friends. According to the traditional viewpoint, a man is only a full man after he is married and has his own children.

The family, as a way to demonstrate a different lifestyle and a higher standard, is much more powerful than just an individual living alone in a society where the family is still the focal point of life itself. The Yemenis observe very carefully the foreigners in their country. They develop a keen sensitivity to the character of a foreigner and his relationship with his wife and children.

There is hope for God's providence in Yemen and the entire Arab world. It may be slower than in other parts of the world, and it may demand additional effort. The gates to heaven have already been opened by the sacrifice of True Parents. How to make each and every person aware of it and show them the way to enter is up to us. One thing is sure: God doesn't want to miss even a single person in His holy city of love. 

Takashi Kagawa, “1975 Missionary 21 Years Testimony -- Malaysia, Thailand, Philippines”

Photo date 1965 - Sun Myung Moon's first world tour - location unknown

1975 I was blessed in Seoul, Korea as one of 1800 blessed couples and as a pioneer of couples with international marriage on a severe, cold winter day. My spouse is American and her name is Genie. After the blessing, I went back to Japan as a member of Global Team and worked with brothers and sisters, and my wife, with desire of sincere heart to unite with my central figure and contribute to the victory of God's providence.

At that time surprisingly, the Church HQ in Japan called me to be an international missionary and my mission country was Malaysia in the Southeast Asia region. It was very sudden, so I was surprised but because I had experienced "Day of Hope" campaigns with brothers and sisters from abroad, I was not so afraid. However, when I just about was leaving to my mission country, I felt I was like a soldier who had been given the mission to go to the war, leaving my loving wife or fiancé alone.

On the other hand, I felt the spirt of a missionary who is going to a foreign country with the heart of faith in God and service for the people. I felt a little nervous from being given this important mission.

During the 40-day workshop for missionaries, we researched the situation of our countries or went to the beach for all night prayer to prepare for the mission internally and externally.

On 1975 May 30th early in the morning, I departed from Haneda airport in Japan, stopped by Singapore then arrived in the capital city of Malaysia. I met the American missionary and German missionary at Kuala Lumpur. We then rented a small house in Lucky Garden and started pioneer witnessing. The three of us decided to use English for our communication. Malaysia was formerly a colony of the British Empire, so in those days, they used to speak English more than their own language of Malay. My English was broken English and the German sister Heidi also couldn't speak English so well. So, we managed to learn English during our missionary work and gradually, we could speak English for prayer, lectures and sermons little by little.

Struggle among Missionaries

From the beginning of our missionary work, there was a big problem. The American missionary Beverly was Chinese American and her parents were Chinese. Her grandmother committed suicide when the Japanese Army invaded China. Also Japan ruled Malaysia for 3 years and 8th months in the past. In those days, the Malay people didn't protest so much against the Japanese military but the Chinese people who lived in Malaysia protested a lot. So they received lot of persecution from the Japanese military. With that kind of background, we had to live together in the same house and work for the providence.

Beverly and I had many struggles with each other and our hearts were down. One day, she struggled a lot and left our house and started to live in some other place. Through those things, I experienced that to love our enemy is so difficult to practice and not simple at all.

True parents and Jesus said: "love your enemy" and they practiced and got victory over the enemy but for us fallen people, it is such a difficult thing to overcome. The German missionary Heidi was genuine and had a good conscious and I did not have so many problems with her, but with Beverly, I continuously struggled. Although we made prayer and fasting conditions and made effort to unite, we couldn't witness to people well because of the struggle between Beverly and myself.

Through this incident, I learned that even if we have people who come to us, we can't raise them up when we have disunity between the missionaries. With those struggles, my perseverance reached its limitation, but I tried to be patient as much as possible with the motto "even being disappointed, do not be disheartened."

My wife came Malaysia and started family

Five years later, we received an announcement from the World Mission Department that Beverly received permission to go back to America to start her family. Then my wife came to Malaysia from America to start our family life.

The German missionary Heidi already went to Hong Kong. In September of 1979, I welcomed my wife with a few members and had a new start.

After the 1800 blessing, my wife worked in Japan and Korea as a missionary. During those days, I wrote a letter to her once a month in English with help of a dictionary as a condition. During this separation time when I received the letters or photos from my wife, I was very happy and encouraged and got power for my mission work.

We could start family smoothly probably because we lived publicly as much as possible with those conditions. She served members as a mother figure, so the atmosphere of the church became brighter and more active.

In 1980 August, our eldest daughter was born and she was named Set Pyul, which means morning star in Korean. She was the first blessed child born in Malaysia. After my wife gave birth to our daughter, a few Chinese Malaysian members who were witnessed to in England during their study there, came back to Malaysia. They had passion to serve their country and started to work together with the local members for witnessing or fundraising. I appointed some of those excellent members as leaders of our headquarters or local churches.

Development of the Malaysia church

I focused on Sunday service, events and workshops. Near Kuala Lumpur, there is resort area called Port Dickson. I rented a bungalow there and had 3-day or 7-day workshops and strived to raise up the young people and students. In Malaysia as in Japan, many people determined to devote their life to God but I advised the students to graduate from college first.

When core members grew up, I sent them pioneering in rural areas. First, I sent them alone but later on, I sent groups of 3 to important cities in Malaysia, such as, Penang, Ipoh, Malacca and Johor Bahru. They opened witnessing centers there and registered them at the city hall as a church. In that way, church centers were established. Later on, each local church had workshops, and my wife and I went around giving lectures and sermons to guide the members. With that system, many working adults and high school students joined the church because of members' hard work.

Malaysia and Its History

Malaysia is unique country and there is a monarchy. Alternately, one of the Islamic chief Sultans becomes the King. Each state has one Sultan, and once every 5 years, they have a conference to elect the King with a secret ballot. After the King's 5-year term, a Sultan from another state becomes King.

Malaysia's ethnic groups are represented by Malay, Chinese and Indian people. The members who joined the church were mostly from Chinese background and a few were Indian. The Malay people are all Muslims so converting to another religion is almost impossible. I worked for God's providence with Chinese Malaysians, who were enemies to Japan in past history and gradually became closer in heart. They were mostly moved by True Parents life course.

Buddhists who are not Christian don't know the content of the Bible but their ancestors suffered a lot. And, as children of immigrants, Chinese people suffered, so when they studied True Parents' course, they could understand the deep shimjong of True Parents to some degree. Especially, sisters are a little more emotional, so some of them, shedding tears, were inspired by True Parents and determined to work for God.

In the beginning, many sisters joined the church, and then brothers increased. I will never forget that I was so moved and inspired when I met with the leaders and members whom I raised up during my travels around to the local churches. I was so moved when I saw young members work so hard for God's providence with sincere heart.

During my life as a missionary, it was most memorable when I went around to the local churches and workshops there.

Persecution from Media

In 1983, a former member betrayed the church and spread rumors to the local newspapers, and the Christians turned against the Unification Church. As a result, the "Malay Mail", an English daily newspaper, had editorials about us. Other newspapers came to our HQ for interviews and an under-cover detective came to investigate. The Christian churches in Malaysia were very much influenced by European churches and believed whatever they were told. At that time, we were so nervous and urgently discussed about this situation.

However, this situation calmed down very soon. After this incident, we received persecution from the media twice but we could overcome well because of unity between ourselves and the local leaders. When we received persecution from the media, I was called by the Special Investigative Officer and the person in charge harassed me in various ways, as well as our local leaders.

During that time, we made a lot of prayer and fasting conditions and worked very seriously. Even under this difficult situation, the local leaders testified about True Parents and the Divine Principle. Because of that condition and unity between the members, we could overcome that critical situation.

Even though we received this persecution, almost no one left the church. Through this persecution, we were grateful that we could experience a little part of True Parents suffering course. And also, I could understand a little of Father's words "receive persecution and gain ownership."

Assignment to Thailand, Georgia and Philippines

On 1989 January, I received a new assignment to Thailand and moved to Bangkok with my family. Thailand is the country built with 3 pillars -- the King, Buddhism and the nation. When I went there, there was already a foundation made which was pioneered by the hard work of Jack [Hart] (American), Eva (Germany) and Mr. Katsuda. On their foundation, Rev. and Mrs. Byung Wooh Kim came from Korea and set up a video center system at Ramkhamhaeng University where members greatly increased. Later, Rev. Byung Wooh Kim became Regional Leader of Southeast Asia and led the countries of ASEAN.

On 1991 June in Thailand, there was severe persecution against the Unification Church and 8 core leaders of Thailand were imprisoned for more than 2 years.

Actually, before that incident there was military coup, and the civil government changed to a government controlled by the military. Despite this difficult situation, Thai members overcame this severe persecution with strong faith. In 1992 December, I got new assignment to the CIS and I went to Moscow with other missionaries of Southeast Asia, leaving my family behind in Thailand.

After the meeting in Moscow, I got the assignment to Georgia. Georgia is the country that always suffered from invasion from other strong neighboring countries. Stalin was born there, in a quiet small town, and I couldn't believe that this dictator was born there. Georgia is the country which has beautiful mountains and agriculture with a unique tradition. The Current President was Dr. Shewarunaze who was the right hand of Mr. Gorbachev and was Foreign Minister.

In the beginning, I was with an American brother, but later I was alone and continued to pioneer. I became a Japanese language teacher at the university and continued missionary work. After 2 years, I endorsed the mission to a Korean missionary and went to the Philippines.

On 1995 November, True Parents came to Manila. Philippines members were packed into the Philippine Cultural Center and welcomed True Parents passionately. True Father went down from the stage and talked very closely to the members with gestures like parents do to their children. These were very delightful moments, truly with love and joy. The VIPs who attended the banquet enjoyed the familial atmosphere. I was very impressed that one of the lady guests took the lead to sing songs and pray together hand in hand with the audience. The atmosphere was really like one family under God.

On 1996 January 1st (God's Day) I could meet world missionaries in New York. Looking back at myself, I don't think I did make a great result, however True Parents accepted just my condition that I worked as a missionary 21 years. They gave me a commemorative plaque and watch for honorable achievement. I really appreciated it and was grateful to be able to attend this ceremony with my wife.

Looking back at 21 years of Missionary Life

The countries in Southeast Asia have a history in which Japan previously occupied their countries, and the people who opposed the Japanese sovereignty were persecuted by force. Through my 21 years of missionary work in Southeast Asia, I really came to understand that Japanese missionaries who worked in Southeast Asia were offerings to pay indemnity through service for the people who suffered in past history.

Nancy Barton Neiland, “Foreign Missionaries' Testimonies on Achieving Unit”, May 1986

Compiled by Nancy Barton Neiland
May 1986

Testimony by a Japanese Brother in West Africa

We left from our three home countries believing the same word of God, and all with the desire to serve True Parents. We were full of joy, expectation, and determination to save people. However, it was not easy. At first, our only way to communicate was to pray (in our several languages) in front of True Parents' picture. It was a way to unite directly centering on God. But the Principle states that man's mind seeks joy. No matter how much we felt that we could unite centering on God, no one can understand how hard it is unless he experiences it firsthand. With no way to speak, there is no way to understand another's mind, heart, knowledge, or experiences.

The irony was that, although our desire to unite and understand each other was great, our difficulties seemed to be just as great; we faced challenges every day. In the beginning, we did not know if we should witness openly because of the political tensions that were mounting in our country. Daily life continued, yet it was far from joyful.

We gradually developed an understanding of each other through conversing in English, but beyond this an even more difficult problem was awaiting us. It was the friction caused by the differences in the way we spoke the words and our differing attitudes of faith, ways of thinking, customs, and so on. Listing the problems would be an endless task, but as an example, we found we differed considerably concerning the most elementary activities of daily life--how to wash dishes, how to clean the house, and so on. We tried to understand and accept each other as much as possible; however, it is natural that when frustrations grow, even more invisible barriers are created.

I Asked For God's Guidance

Accordingly, it was also hard to plan how to do our mission. We each had our own ideas about it, yet we could not fully explain our reasons. (I especially found this to be the case.) Furthermore, we had not yet decided who among us should be the central figure. We were uncertain who should decide this! Our thoughts were so complicated. We questioned everything, over and over. We were apt to complain over very slight things. When this happened, any kind of relationship we had succeeded in building began to crumble. I felt so sorry for Heavenly Father.

There is nothing more miserable than the impatience and disappointment you experience when people who are living for the same purpose and are working to achieve it cannot really join forces. I earnestly asked for God's guidance through prayer and fasting conditions. I felt very uneasy because Satan's power tried to invade and create a gap of heart among us. All of us felt this uneasiness when we could not unite.

It is extraordinarily difficult to unite three missionaries who have different nationalities, languages, customs, and habits. But we knew that True Father, who came to put an end to the 6,000-year history of darkness, wanted us to be proud of making unity. He wanted us to make possible something which in today's world is quite impossible. We know through the Bible that nothing is impossible to those who love God. I had great determination to fulfill the goal; I felt I would never yield.

Whenever I pondered about what goes on in Father's mind, I could not help but remember the speech he gave to the Japanese missionaries before our departure from Japan. It was not possible for True Father to tell us all that we would face; at that time, we would not have been able to truly understand. It was only our own tearful experience that crystallized our understanding. I told myself over and over that nothing can be created without the unity of three centered on God and without establishing an eternal tradition which would begin and remain as God's history in our mission country.

The American Sister and I

It was not easy to remain calm while trying to set up a clear direction for our activities. It was also not easy to control our hearts while being driven to the edge of our limitations. Among many missionary trinities in Africa, there was often severe conflict between the American and the Japanese missionaries. Our situation was no different. The relationship between my American sister and myself was the most difficult one. When I was silent, she pressed me to talk because she wanted to know what I was thinking. If I showed a little uneasiness toward what she said or did, she immediately got angry and demanded to know why I was angry with her. She emphasized that the best method for understanding one another is to express everything openly and honestly. This goes completely against Oriental tradition.

Later I came to realize that I should indeed speak a little more openly about what I was feeling, but in my heart, I could not really accept her method. There are some things one cannot express in words at the moment of difficulty. I was raised under the philosophy that it is often better to wait for some time before talking about how one feels. Countless times I was glared at by her eyes, full of resentment.

She could rarely understand my point of view. I wondered how unity between us could be achieved. I knew that it was not possible without love and truth, and without centering upon God. Accordingly, I could not help but make effort to love and serve her patiently. It was, I feel, a silent world I lived in. I searched for the depth of True Father's mind. I know he faced countless times when he also tried to speak, but couldn't.

I learned that my American sister's heart vacillated easily. Sometimes she would ask questions with honesty and sincerity, but at other times she would quickly become angry. I felt she tried to dominate the German sister as well as the whole mission. I began to understand that although American women are strong, their strength is basically on the surface. I could see my American sister's weakness; underneath, she was actually fragile and needed love.

My American sister had visa problems and had to stay in a neighboring country. I myself spent almost nine months in other countries because of visa problems, but I was finally able to reenter my mission country again.

After that, unity developed between my German sister and me quite naturally. We built up a solid unity by virtue of her vertical and honest character, and as a foundation, I taught her the Principle and gave her internal guidance for two or three hours every day for nearly three months. The memory of that time remains in both our hearts as one of joy and is a testimony to achieving a victory of unity. It became a foundation for a deep relationship to grow between us, a relationship more like that between a parent and child than between a brother and sister. And our love for one another continues even today.

However, I felt pity toward our American sister because she could not obtain a new visa for our mission country and work together with us. She was forced to stay in another country; therefore, she felt estranged from both of us and also felt a certain amount of jealousy toward the German sister. The German sister and I earnestly tried to bring unity between all of us through praying for her and writing letters to her.

After three years we could once again work together in our mission country. We had another chance to try to unite substantially. I took the opportunity to talk with my American sister often, to serve her and give advice to her, but it was hard for us to cultivate a deep relationship with each other. She was still jealous of the German missionary. Her temper flared often. It seemed to me that she did not understand her own character, so I tried to show her something about herself little by little. But whenever I hurt her pride, I felt her hatred for me. However, when I endured and continued, she could not help but begin to trust me.

I Chose To Serve Silently

Behind the curtain of our daily lives, the invisible strings of God's dispensation are constantly at work. Each of us has to indemnify many things. Our ancestors' mistakes and our personal mistakes have become entangled, and they complicate our lives immeasurably. Since I believed in God's dispensation and His guidance, I had no recourse but to do my best and undertake everything with gratitude. With a humble mind, I obediently tried to indemnify whatever was necessary. I felt I had to serve my American sister and talk to her only when my mind was full of love, and then victory over resentment would surely come.

This is part of the path we had to walk to build unity. It was more than merely difficult. Yet at the most demanding times, I thought of Heavenly Father's heart and how He has been watching humanity for 6,000 years without being able to reach us. Even so, He could not avoid putting the Lord of the Second Advent through difficulty and pain, which would ultimately free mankind. I knew that my pain was nothing in comparison. Heavenly Father showed us parental love, and assuaged my heartaches.

Because of our government's policy toward religious activities, witnessing became more and more difficult and dangerous. At the end of 1978, all of us moved to the same new mission country in which a mission had already been established. I saw even more unity problems between the missionaries there, and I also learned a valuable lesson about how the problems among missionaries hurt the native members. I realized it was not easy to eradicate the accusations and anger that the native members saw fly between missionaries. It was also impossible to erase the resentful words some of the missionaries spoke to the native members. The true tradition we should inherit from True Parents is to care for young members as they experience their spiritual rebirth. If we cannot do this, it is only their resentment and bitterness that remain eternally in the history of the mission. When I received this understanding, I chose to serve silently.

I had the chance to meet other Japanese missionaries, and I could see that they felt a certain arrogance because they came from the Orient. They boasted that they knew the Principle more deeply than Westerners. But I could not accept such an attitude. I felt that if Japanese missionaries could not express love to Western missionaries in words, they certainly would never be able to guide them through deeds of love. When I talked with other Japanese missionaries, I became sick of hearing them arbitrarily pass judgment on the quality of all Western members based on one small episode in their personal experience. Honestly speaking, I was disappointed in the Japanese brothers who could not uplift and embrace the Western missionaries. I felt we should stand in the position of parent or elder brother.

Many of these Japanese missionaries were former leaders in Japan or had held other responsible positions. In their positions they guided many members, and back in Japan I naturally respected them. But when we left Japan, I saw them in a different light. I feel one must overcome feelings of strong nationalism. One cannot judge simply by something he learned in the past, but rather one must broaden his own horizons. We may be able to categorize a person based on his background, but we should not judge everyone based on one experience. I feel the fundamental standard of a person is his character and the firmness of his heartfelt relationship with God.

I heard rumors that some of the native members decided whether to love or hate a missionary based on whether that person was Japanese, American, or German. I felt so much pain that native members were disappointed in the Japanese missionaries. I had many things I wanted to teach the native members, but knowing the disunity problem, I decided to go the sacrificial way by paying indemnity and being silent.

Testimony by an American Brother in Southern Africa

Once we were settled into our center and the externals were temporarily taken care of, our attention then turned inward, on each other and ourselves. We were still filled with the excitement and determination we had gotten from our training, and we went witnessing with a fierce desperation. But the kind of results we knew we should be getting eluded us. Frustration developed. We were afraid of so many unknown factors: Would we get long-term visas? Would we get the jobs we needed for the visas? Would we be able to fulfill our mission?

So much of life around us went on in the native language which we didn't understand. We tried to start learning it, but progress was slow. The long evenings and weekends we filled with prayer and study conditions. But emptiness and loneliness were always there.

Our Japanese missionary counterpart had not yet arrived. Unwittingly I started taking my frustrations out on my German sister. I started nagging her about many little things -- the way she cooked, the way she spoke English, the circumstances. I didn't want to be harsh, but I caught myself nagging her many, many times. She must have been very lonely, and just as empty inside as I was. Sometimes when I was "teaching" her in a harsh way, tears would well up in her eyes. But she never once complained or reciprocated. She was amazing -- so humble and sincere; secretly, I respected her very much.

Thus, we struggled through those first difficult months together -- both of us faced with so many unknowns, both of us inspired and driven on by our True Parents' vision, yet each of us lonely and empty in our hearts. I cried myself to sleep some nights; I don't even know why. My heart just seemed to ache and overflow at times. Both of us really tried not to let our True Parents down, feeling all the while that we were. If I had to summarize those first months in one word, it would have to be "heartache" -- intense heartache.

Plodding Forward

Then a new light brightened our horizon and temporarily distracted us from our struggles -- our Japanese brother arrived. What a lively, energetic person! His personality was completely complementary to ours; he was an extrovert and an entertainer. One problem was that he did not seem to treat sisters on an equal level with brothers, which made it difficult for our German sister. Here my conscience was struck. I liked him and he respected me, but my understanding of our positions was different from his. I felt very strongly that since Heavenly Father had sent a representative from each of three major countries, our positions were equal. Thus, I defended our German sister and included her.

After one month, our Japanese brother had to leave. When the German sister and I were alone again, we started to get on each other's nerves. Once again we became conscious of the emptiness inside. We felt our faith to be very inadequate. We felt that if our faith and relationship of heart to Heavenly Father and True Parents had been deeper, we would have been filled with heavenly love and overflowing with spirit. We tried many different things but expressions of heart were not able to be squeezed out of us.

Perhaps we were quite immature in understanding and living the Principle, but we thought it was a disgrace to set anything but the highest goals. Then when we could not reach them, we got depressed and we accused ourselves. I must repent now that we were not more perceptive and clever at the time. We just kept plodding laboriously forward.

Our Japanese brother returned to the country, but somehow our relationships were different from the first time. Any measure of harmony we had achieved was now a thing of the past. Suddenly we found we all had very strong opinions, which were very different from one another. The Japanese brother had resentment against the German sister and me because we had been deciding everything ourselves in his absence. He had the idea that he, as an Oriental man, was naturally the subject over us; we had quite a different idea. He did not even seem to want to include our German sister at all, but I stood by my original idea that the three of us were given equal positions by True Father, and that we represented our countries before we represented ourselves.

My "Second Advent"

Sometime after that I was put in jail and deported; however, I was able to return some months later. I was jubilant on my return, feeling victorious in overcoming all the frustrations and trials of my exile, and being allowed to make my "second advent" in the country to which True Father had originally assigned me. But the circumstances I found gave me the shock of my life.

Communication had been cut off. Members were scattered around the whole country. No new members had joined. Some previous ones had left. The German sister had been sent to another city. And my Japanese brother warned me not to try to "take over:' I could not understand where the respect for the idea and the reality of the "three representatives" had gone.

So we three missionaries decided to start evening meetings just between the three of us to make decisions involving day-to-day affairs.

But sometimes our Japanese brother would not come home at night. If he did not come home of his own volition, I went to the office he had downtown to find him. I found that his heart had been deeply wounded. I tried all possible methods to get him to come home so that we could meet as a trinity. Now I have to repent that I did not understand at that time about laying internal indemnity conditions; our methods were wholly external. Although he would come back at night and things would be all right for a while, he suffered "'relapses" now and again. It was a trying period, to say the least. The other two of us had to work on overcoming our own problems, as well as love and comfort him. Thanks to Heavenly Father, we all survived, and after a little while our Japanese brother began to gain his self- confidence once again.

We started a new tradition, a tradition of meeting to discuss the direction of our mission every night after the members had gone to bed. At first there were incredible tensions between the three of us. But our "code of ethics" pulled us through. We never really spoke about it, but somehow we all assumed that no matter how big our fights became, we had to always respect the other's right to speak as a representative of True Parents and his or her own nation. Secondly, we silently, "agreed" that none of us would ever try to solve problems by running out of the meeting or breaking off communication. Even though all of us were tempted many times to do these things, somehow we always restrained ourselves. Our meetings almost always lasted until 2:30 or 3:00 a.m. And there were some nights when we met until 5:00 a.m.! But finally, we were able to reach agreements at these meetings, and that was so essential to the core of our mission.

Sometimes during our meetings we shouted at each other with such loud voices that the whole neighborhood must have heard! Mainly, the Japanese missionary and I fought. Our German sister's weapon was her tears; it was difficult to go against her when she started to cry. At first, we had incredible misunderstandings and impatience with each other. It depended on the issue, but generally two of us sided together, and these "teams" of two were always changing. But we usually did not end our meeting until the issue was solved. On rare occasions, we decided to "sleep" on it (what sleep?)

Gradually, we began to understand each other's way of thinking, each other's strong and weak points. Our meetings matured from violent surges of emotion to more calm and rational exchanges. I liked to keep our meetings casual, telling a few jokes and interesting stories. The Japanese brother also liked to "horse around;' while our German sister always wanted to get down to business and said we were "wasting time" But as our understanding of each other's sincerity grew, so did our affection for one another. After a while we looked forward to these meetings. They became our strength and our inspiration. More than once, we commented that we felt "married" to one another.

The Power of the Principle

These meetings offered us an incredible education. Never before had I seen such proof of the power of the Principle in helping us overcome differences. And never before had I learned so much about other cultures than through the give and take at our meetings. Today, I feel as though I didn't know anything about the Japanese and German cultures before I began this mission. Needless to say, my appreciation for those nations has grown immensely. I'm sure none of us has ever been closer to any other brothers and sisters than we are to each other, even though we come from different cultural heritages. This has made us feel that each of our cultures can make a positive contribution to the world and that we ourselves can make a positive contribution to the providence of restoration. Through our unity we developed a tremendous confidence in the Principle and in our True Parents. Even though we are quite thankful for our level of unity now, at the beginning I remember I often had to protect my German sister's position, as well as "translate" many of the more rigid points of Japanese philosophy. But now that has all melted away. We are quite free to express ourselves, and we feel equally respected by each other.

Our Turning Point

I think the turning point in our meetings came when we began to really trust each other. I remember that what started it was a testimony sent to us by headquarters. It contained the following advice: In order to trust, you have to be prepared to risk something. I was intrigued by the idea. Thus, in our meetings I tried to take calculated risks. The results were amazing! My brother and sister were shocked; they couldn't believe I really trusted them, especially because before, we always found it so difficult to trust each other. Actually at the time I really didn't trust them; it was more of an intellectual experiment. But I figured that whatever we were doing wasn't that important; thus, if we risked some result but gained a little mutual trust in return, it would be worth it. It is incredible how that small, hesitant beginning germinated and multiplied itself! Suddenly, the others also took risks, and even if they felt I would completely fail to accomplish, they still trusted me. I reciprocated. Soon it wasn't just an intellectual exercise anymore; we began relating from our hearts. After a while, we actually began to trust each other! We had broken through! It was beautiful.

From then on, our relationship began to blossom into a love for one another that filled our hearts deeply, and we felt no emptiness or loneliness anymore. Suddenly, our mission country became our home, and we felt that a great foundation for international unity and for our True Parents had been established. Our relationship with each other became an expression of gratitude and love.

We still have our squabbles, but they are on a completely different level. We know that our bond of love and trust cannot be broken. Once we realized this, we understood the wisdom of Heavenly Father and True Parents for putting us together those-long years ago.

Testimony by a German Sister in North Africa

Our "eventful" daily life together soon made us realize why our True Parents had intentionally sent us out as representatives of three completely different countries. Personal character, history, cultures, and customs separated us. Our first task -- to create unity -- turned out to be a very special challenge.

It was not simply the three of us who met. Our ancestors met one another too. In the beginning there were many conflicts, many desperate hours. Each of us sometimes thought we were approaching the limit of what the human heart could bear.

Everything Was Conflicting

American self-confidence encountered Japanese pride. Openness faced taciturnity. And another seasoning, added to the already well- spiced dish, was German stubbornness. The whole encounter was framed in every respect by completely strange and unusual surroundings.

Even a person without a terribly active imagination would be able to envision the peculiarity of this situation. One person is used to blowing his nose in a noisy way; for the other, this shows terrible manners.

Another one has to switch from chopsticks to a knife and fork. In America, it is noble to put the left hand under the table while eating. In Europe, this is considered extremely crude, and the European custom to leave both hands on the table, and to eat "armed" with knife and fork, is condemned by Americans as horribly barbaric. A person from the East eats his soup noisily, while in the West people try to eat as noiselessly as possible. The Western heart rebels when the Eastern person walks ten meters ahead on the sidewalk.

In the West, people express their joy and suffering visibly; in the East, it is a mark of good breeding to withhold public displays of emotions. Something that sounds agreeable in the German language means something disrespectful and insulting in English. In the Oriental view of what a woman should look, like, one of us was definitely too tall and the other not thin enough.

To sum up, simply everything was conflicting. And because of the language difficulties, which did not allow our hearts to express themselves as they desired, our personal characters -- which were not rounded to begin with -- developed many sharp corners that seemed to jut out all too often.

How Does One Mature?

When I look back today, I am so grateful to have learned the value of the Cain/Abel relationship through living in the mission field. We come to know the human character especially through resolving this relationship, with its highs and lows, in its depravity and divinity. True purification takes place especially when pain is experienced. How does one mature? Isn't it by overcoming pride? By having the courage to humble oneself? Yes, but also through the slow but solid development of a love in which we refuse to succumb to the tendency to criticize others around us and learn to spontaneously center our hearts on God.

Only together can we learn to serve our True Parents. We must restore ourselves first, then work with other people. Often we have to overcome limitations not only for our own sake. Perhaps in God's eyes overcoming certain things is necessary as a condition, as a way to achieve a higher purpose which we do not yet know. Sometimes tears rolled down our cheeks, and only after a long time could we realize the actual "why."

We were each tested to a degree I had never imagined possible. My pride and my love for my "old continent" were things I clung to. Such typical arrogance! Such German obstinacy and lack of modesty! If I realized them before, they had simply been pins pricking my heart and conscience, trying to chide me into giving them up. Yet in the mission field, they became stakes; the pain forcing me to break free from the old.

Through my American sister, God tried to bring seemingly trivial things to light. And to my great amazement, if my heart refused to accept my mistakes or errors which God and True Parents showed me -- either through prayer, through a dream, or in daily life -- she helped show me the attitude I harbored within me which had to be revised.

Today, looking back on the confrontations and difficulties, I know all three of us now realize that many locked horizons opened up through these kinds of experiences. And within ourselves, we realize the unique value and infinite richness of mutual exchange on so many different levels. Existing corners have become rounder; through unity, with its spiritual abundance and ability to attract the presence of God, we realize the emptiness we felt during our moments of misunderstanding.

The Ability to Forgive

I think the great heavenly secret in creating unity, and in achieving any success, is the ability to forgive. By solidifying this ability, love can emerge. This is not only true of our situation, but also for anyone trying to overcome barriers between the different systems, cultures, and habits still existing in this world. Only in this way can the good and the divine in the people we confront be realized and developed.

All this becomes possible only through living the Principle and only through the example of our True Parents, who have shown us the direction through their sacrificial way of life. Even the simple thought of them often united the three of us to become, at least in spirit, one in heart.

In front of such a historic, unique example as our True Parents, who have moved the heart of God and all mankind, our repentance seemed even more necessary. In our hearts we felt a deep gratitude that we had been allowed to know them and to help them in the mission of world restoration to the best of our ability.

The experiences of these past years helped in a wonderful way to bring us to understand True Parents and empathize with their path through life, their happiness and suffering. They brought us to a much deeper maturity.

Through this testimony, I want by no means to give the impression that our own suffering has been our central focus. All our accomplishments have been due to our True Parents, who accompanied us day by day, who protected us with their prayers, and who had to pioneer and confront far greater problems than we ever faced. 

Fleischman, Patricia, “Going There Was the Beginning of My Spiritual Life -- Personal Testimony about the Mission in Senegal”

The holy ground in a park in Dakar during a God's Day celebration.

Patricia Fleischman is one of the original missionaries to Senegal. She dictated this testimony during the recent 120-day leadership training in New York State.

When I was about ten years old, growing up as a schoolgirl in the Midwest, we had to write a story about what we would like to do when we were older. I wrote that I wanted to be a missionary to Africa. I was quite excited about it at the time and went to my Lutheran church to get all the information I could from their brochures about missionary work in Africa.

I forgot all about that idea for years until the time I was pioneering in Wisconsin in 1972. I went with one of my contacts to see a medium, who told me that there was a woman spirit working with me who had been a missionary to Africa. She said the spirit was holding a worn- out Bible.

In February 1975 I was called to the Blessing. For about one year I had been at the headquarters in Washington DC -- working in the kitchen, looking after the house, and taking care of the Salonen's baby. Mr. Salonen asked me if I wanted to be a missionary. I said yes, I had always wanted to be a missionary to Africa.

I was sent to Korea, and on February 8, I was blessed to Justin Fleischman, who was an MFT commander at the time. Right after the Blessing we returned to the United States and about 90 foreign missionaries were chosen. I spoke French, so I was not surprised when the French- speaking West African country of Senegal was chosen as my mission country.

We were supposed to arrive in our mission countries by May 1 to fulfill a providential condition, but there was not enough money to send us all right away. So we had to draw names out of a hat to see who would go first. I was one of the few missionaries whose name was picked. I was 24 years old at the time and I had never been out of the country except for my trip to Korea.

Students learn the basics of sewing in the Senegal family's program to train handicapped people.

My Arrival in Africa

I arrived in Senegal alone in the middle of the night of May 1, 1975. In order to enter the country a visitor needs to show a return ticket. The last stopover of my flight had been in Germany, so I had had to buy a return ticket to there. That cost me $500. It was half of the money I had been given to begin my mission in Africa.

The German missionary, Bernhard Bode, had arrived about a week before I did, but I had no idea where he was staying. The only thing I could think of was to go to the German embassy in Dakar and try to locate him. I quickly found out that Bernhard was a spiritually open brother. That morning he had gotten the inspiration to go to the German embassy and sit there all morning. When I arrived I found him waiting for me.

Bernhard had reserved a room for me in a very cheap hotel. He was living in another hotel that was even more low-class than mine. I felt terrified. I didn't know anything about the country, but I felt it was a matter of life or death that we stay there. To fulfill our mission we had to stay in the country -- if we didn't, we failed our mission. That was strongly impressed upon us. We were also afraid of getting kicked out of the country. Actually, Senegal is quite free, and we could have declared ourselves as missionaries, but we did not know this at the time.

We started contacting people on the street and had guests coming over right away. The Senegalese like foreigners, and from the very beginning we were teaching the Principle almost every evening.

Dignitaries gather at a ceremony honoring the church for its achievements in training the handicapped. The three women seated at right are the ministers of social development, technical instruction, and emigrants who return to Senegal.

After about two weeks, we got an apartment. It was a two-bedroom place on the top floor of a five-story apartment building and it suited us well. We could see even a little of the city from our window. But we used all of our money for the apartment and we didn't have anything left for furniture. Our sofa was a foam rubber mattress with a little cloth covering it. For the first six months we ate only bread, tomatoes, and mangoes -- we had nothing to cook on.

Our Japanese brother, Makoto Maeda, came a few weeks after we did and even though he could not speak French, he had such a good heart that he had people coming over every day. But we found it was very hard to bring members.

We had unity problems like everybody, but little by little we could work it out. For a long time we had a prayer condition by the ocean, and it helped our unity to pray for the country and the president.

Towards the end of 1975, the police started investigating our church. They had first turned their attention on us for an unrelated matter, but they found out that we didn't know each other before we started living together. They thought this was strange. In 1980, I happened to see their file on us. They thought that we were terrorists. The brothers were kicked out of the country. I found out later that I was supposed to be kicked out too, but for some unknown reason this never happened.

An exposition in the Dakar City Hall of the clothes made by the handicapped students.

I Determine to Carry On

So my first God's Day in Senegal I was completely alone. I felt an incredibly heavy responsibility on my shoulders, one which I felt incapable of handling. But I was determined to carry on no matter what.

I was actually alone only for a few days. Several missionaries arrived in transit to other countries. Kathy Harting (Rigney) had been kicked out of the communist country of Benin (formerly Dahomey) and stayed with me for about four months. I had gotten a part-time job teaching English, and I continued witnessing with the other missionaries. We had a group of six to eight people who came over every day. But they were Muslims and had a very difficult time understanding and accepting the Principle.

It was very draining to teach every night. Spiritually, everything was very heavy. I would pace back and forth on my balcony every night singing holy songs and praying. That was a very precious time for me, full of deep experiences with God and True Parents.

It was during this time, in 1976, that I was able to get an interview with the president of the country. The man who was then president was Leopold Sedar Senghor, a famous philosopher and poet who had led Senegal to independence. He was president for almost 20 years. He resigned in 1980 -- the first African president to resign and pass the leadership to his successor. He was succeeded by his prime minister, Abdou Diouf, who is the current president.

I was able to have an interview with President Senghor for about 15 minutes, along with one of our home members. I gave him a Divine Principle book and a little book on Father's life. He made no comment other than "Thank you."

These temporary missionaries later left and were replaced by a Japanese brother and a German sister who were assigned as permanent missionaries to the country. This is when we started to really have unity problems. I don't even like to talk about it because we did not bring victory. But towards the end of this time, in August or September 1978, we brought our first member, Solomon Loum, who is now with me in the 120-day workshop in America.

The other two permanent missionaries were then transferred and replaced. In the 10 years I have been in Senegal, there were altogether four different Japanese and four different German missionaries.

We started having guests living in the center in the last few months of 1978, and by the end of the year we had three or four new members. This was the beginning of many, many new struggles to understand and to educate the young members.

Before going to Africa, I had found it really hard to pray and I hadn't had such a deep relationship with God or True Parents. I believe that going there was the beginning of my spiritual life. Having to fight it out alone, with only God to depend on, had been a very deep experience for me. But once we started getting members it was a struggle to expand my heart to the Park for people, who were so openly heartistic themselves. Through struggling to love the members and open the limits of my heart, I could understand God's heart more.

In the last several years, our membership has grown moderately but steadily, and we now have 21 full-time members.

The ambassador of South Korea (left) and his wife visit Patricia Fleischman (in checkered dress) and the staff members of the church in Senegal.

Our Educational Project for Handicapped

The Senegal family started an educational project for handicapped people in October 1983. We began in one small room with 16 handicapped students. Because most of them supported themselves by begging, we provided them with breakfast and lunch and gave them a small scholarship of a few dollars a month. Our students are mostly young people who are paralyzed in one or both legs. We teach them the basics of tailoring to give them an occupation so that they can be productive members of society. The project is directed by Lassana Djimeia, a native member who is blind and has had some experience teaching handicapped people.

Little by little our project has grown. Last July IRFF began to support us with a grant of $1,000 per month, which has permitted us to expand and take on more students. Now we have rented a house and have 25 students. We hired a master tailor who teaches the advanced group, and also two young girls who teach them the basics of sewing and knitting.

We may eventually have up to 40 students, but a real problem is finding jobs for these handicapped workers after they are trained. So far there has been no result in getting these trained students placed in jobs. In America, people have sympathy for handicapped people, but this is not the case in Senegal. We are now studying this problem and looking int. the possibility of making some kind of factory where we can employ these workers ourselves.

We have received a lot of support from the government through this project, and people have changed their minds about Father through this. Recently, a local businessman donated a used car. During the dedication ceremony, three government officials came to present us with the keys.

The handicapped students gather for a group photo. Lassana Djimeia, the blind brother who heads the project, is at the rear wearing dark glasses.

We have received a letter from President Diouf saying that his wife, who does a lot of work with handicapped people, will come to visit us soon. We also received much support from the ambassador of South Korea, who has donated several hundred dollars to us and visited us quite frequently.

The Catholic relief fund also gave 60 bales of clothing which we distributed to needy people. They trust us to deliver these goods to the people -- something they cannot do with other agencies.

As we are more established and known, we want to use this educational project to contact important people. We will probably teach Unification Thought at these seminars, since this is predominantly a Muslim country and it is very difficult for the people to understand the Principle.

It has been especially difficult in a Muslim country for a girl to be alone. Now my husband has joined me in Africa and has been there for three years. Before he came, he was working as an MFT commander and had wanted me to join him in America. At first it was difficult for him, but now he loves Africa. Things are so much easier for all of us now.

Senegal is a former French colony -- the first place to be colonized by the French. The level of education is perhaps the highest of any former French colony. When the French came, they extended French citizenship to four cities in Senegal.

The country is very dry and has suffered very much in the last ten years because of drought. The desert has been advancing southward 18 meters per day. In the northern part of the country the people lived by cattle farming, but now the cattle have died and many people survive through support from relatives who have emigrated to France.

About 85 percent of the Senegalese are Muslim, 8 percent are Christian, and the rest are animists (they worship nature, totems, and ancestors). The government is one of the few democratic governments in Africa. There are 15 political parties, most of them Marxist. The ruling party is socialist but is influenced much by Marxist ideology. Senegal is a member of the Socialist International and a member of the Unaligned Nations. 

Fleischman, Patricia, “The first Unification Church Missionary in Senegal -- May 2, 1975”

Photo date and location unknown

On May 2, 1975 at 3:00 a.m., I landed at the airport in Dakar, Senegal, West Africa, as a missionary sent out by True Parents. At that time, I was 24 and I had no idea how long I would be staying and what situations I would face there. I also didn't know much about Senegal – just that it was a predominately Moslem country and that its president was a poet. I also knew that I would be joining a German and Japanese missionary whom I had never met though I knew their names. Reflecting back on that time I realize that I wasn't really thinking or analyzing things but just went totally on faith in God and True Parents. I ended up staying in Senegal 17 years thanks to God's grace and protection. I am eternally grateful to our Heavenly Parents for giving me the opportunity to go to Senegal as a missionary even though I was not qualified for such a responsibility. I feel my real life began in Senegal.

Because I had come to Senegal with only a one-way ticket, I wasn't able to enter until I bought a return ticket to Germany, which had been my last stop before arriving in Senegal. So I had to use half of the money given to me to start my mission to buy that ticket. Then I spent the rest of the night at a hotel near the airport. In the morning, knowing that the Germany missionary was already in Senegal, I took a taxi and went straight to the German embassy hoping to get his address. To my surprise, he was sitting there in the Embassy. That morning he had had the inspiration to go to the Embassy. He was staying in a small, very simple old hotel in the center of Dakar and had reserved a room there for me. It was a great relief to have met him in such a way that was clearly guided by God.

After a couple of weeks, we were able to find an apartment in the center of town near the French Cultural Center and a couple of weeks after that the Japanese missionary arrived. The German missionary was 21 years old and had only been a church member for about 9 months before being sent to Africa. The Japanese missionary had been a CARP member in Japan and was clearly the one who had the most spiritual training and wisdom among the three of us. The German missionary spoke English and French (the main common language in Senegal) pretty well. The Japanese only spoke Japanese so it was very difficult for him. I had studied French through high school and college so I could read it pretty well but had trouble speaking it so I borrowed books in French from the French Cultural Center library which was near our apartment and after reading many books I started thinking in French and then, could speak it. Both the German and Japanese missionaries were kind and gentle by nature. Still, because of the providential importance of our unity it wasn't easy.

The First Year

I remember the first year of our mission as being very special – very intense. I feel that we were specially guided and protected by God. We were getting to know a new country and culture that was so different from our own. We were trying to figure out how to live there; what to eat, how to live our daily lives, how to support ourselves, how to relate to the people, etc. At first, it was all so strange I missed America terribly. Whenever I saw a gas station I would get tears in my eyes because that was the one thing in Senegal that most resembled America. Gradually, as I became more accustomed to Senegal and as we started getting to know some people and developing friendships, I began to feel such a great love for the country. I loved walking the streets and taking the old "cars rapides" -- a very old kind of minibus that held about 15 people sitting in benches in the back and that had floors that were rusted through in many places so you could see the pavement below.

Being a predominately Moslem country, there were Mosques everywhere including one just two blocks from our apartment. Five times a day the call to prayer would explode out through the loud speaker of the Mosque. Every Mosque sends out the call to prayer 5 times a day. It is a chant in Arabic saying something like "Hasten to Prayer". My bedroom in our 3rd floor apartment had a narrow balcony that faced the Mosque, so in the beginning, I found the calls to prayer disruptive but I eventually became accustomed to them and could appreciate their beauty. Senegal officially has freedom of religion, though over 90% of the population is Moslem with only a small portion of Christians and others. Because of the high percentage of Moslems, there was some social pressure to be Moslem. There is a Moslem sect native to Senegal, the Mourides, that is very popular and powerful, as well as other branches of Islam.

One day during our first few months in Dakar, we had an interesting experience. Our apartment was on the 3rd floor and had a balcony overlooking the street. It suddenly became kind of dark outside and then we heard a lot of noise in the street. We went out on the balcony to see what was going on and found there was a solar eclipse taking place. Looking down we saw that the street was full of men bowing towards the sun and praying to Allah in loud voices. We found out that they were praying to Allah to give back the sun. They continued praying until the eclipse was over.

There was also a large Catholic church not far from our apartment where many of the French people who lived in Senegal worshiped. In the first few months, the Japanese missionary and I would often go there to pray because we found it very difficult to pray in our apartment and, in general, in Senegal. Gradually we could build the strength to pray well in our center.

It was difficult at first to figure what to eat. For most of our first year we lived on bread, Laughing Cow cheese, and tomatoes or mangos or something like that. The food in the French super markets was way too expensive for us and the conditions in the open air African markets seemed so unhygienic I had a hard time buying anything but fruits and vegetables. The areas where they sold meat and fish were so different from anything I'd experienced it was a very long time before I could actually buy something there.

One day I received a large package from my mother of dried food that needed cooking so we finally bought a little burner and pot and started cooking. It felt like Christmas to receive all that food! Later, the Japanese brother from Mali came to Dakar so he could renew his visa. He bought some meat at the market and prepared it. It was delicious and we didn't get sick so I learned to overcome myself and buy meat at the African market.

Through our friends we were introduced to the Senegalese national dish, "Tiebou Dien" which means rice and fish. It is a very spicy dish that many Senegalese eat every day for the noon meal. It consists of fried fish with vegetables and rice cooked in an oily, spicy tomato sauce. It's served on a large platter with the rice on the bottom and the fish and vegetables piled up in the middle. Traditionally, the people eat with their hands and each person eats from the spot just in front of him. The host or hostess puts morsels of fish and vegetables in front of each person. People not accustomed to eating with their hands are given a spoon. It is very delicious and satisfying.

From the beginning, we were witnessing and inviting people to our apartment. Looking back, it may not have been the wisest thing to do as we knew so little about the people and the country but we were very young and naïve. After a couple of months we had two young men, Jean Pierre and Charles, coming over almost every day. They would come share our simple meals and study Principle with us. We were so happy and inspired to have them coming but it was very difficult to figure out how to raise them. Though we studied every day, they didn't seem to understand very much. We did many conditions for them and really had hope for them. Charles worked as a tour guide and one day he brought a set of beautiful travel books and asked us to keep them for him because he thought they would be safer with us. As days and weeks went by, Jean Pierre asked to borrow the books one by one.

He told us he was a student. We naively totally trusted these two brothers. Jean Pierre told us a story about knowing a good friend of President Senghor and that he would be going to Europe. In the end, he disappeared with all of the beautiful books that Charles had left with us. I took us quite a while to comprehend what had happened. We were completely shocked and realized we had been so foolish to believe his stories. Charles became discouraged and stopped coming to see us. It was a hard lesson for us. We realized that our mission wasn't going to be as easy as we hoped it would be.

The German brother got the inspiration that we should meet the president, Leopold Senghor, so he requested a meeting. To our surprise we were granted an audience. I went with the German brother and the President seemed very surprised when he saw us. I think he expected older more mature people. We talked a little with him and gave him a Divine Principle book as we left. We believed it was a good condition for the country.

As missionaries, one of the most important aspects of our responsibility was to unite together – Japanese, German, and American. Naturally, we had to overcome many things in ourselves to be able to do this. It was fairly easy for the Japanese brother and I to get along after we got to know each other a little. When I went to Senegal I was painfully aware of how little I understood about how to live a principled life and I had never had a real experience of God's presence through prayer, etc. He seemed much wiser and more spiritual so I was often grateful to receive guidance from him though sometimes it was hard to take.

The German brother was quiet and gentle but also rather stubborn and independent. We sometimes had disagreements but most of the time we got along pretty well though we weren't completely united. The thing I remember most about the German brother is how much he loved Senegal and the people. He was so dedicated. However, after some months, the two brothers, who were both very sensitive spiritually, began to have spiritual problems that became quite serious and led to strange behaviors. That was scary for me because I needed to be able to help them and take care of them but I had never had direct experience with such things. So we just kind of endured and persevered and little by little they got better.

During that period we still had some people coming over to study but it was very awkward with what was going on so gradually they stopped coming. It was difficult to keep my spirit up when I was in the center but when I went out to do errands or just get out I felt so much love for the country and people and my spirit would be renewed.

As the two brothers got better our unity also improved and I felt so hopeful that we really could unite and work happily together. Unfortunately, another problem came up. Months earlier, without consulting the Japanese missionary or me, the German missionary had naively written a letter to the prime minister to ask for a job for the Japanese brother and himself. I guess he was just desperate to find a way to stay in Senegal permanently. When he told us what he had done we were extremely upset and I think that was our biggest argument. It turned out that that letter led to a police investigation of the three of us. We were all called to the police station but they were asking me questions about the two brothers. The German brother had also, later, applied for a visa as a businessman so the police were very confused and suspicious. So in December of 1975, just when things seemed to be going much better, the Japanese and German missionaries were told to leave the country. Many years later when I was applying for a permanent residence visa I found out that my file said I was expulsed at that time though actually I hadn't been.

A new start

So January 1, 1976, my first God's Day in Senegal, I was alone. I remember how I felt that day very clearly. On one hand I felt completely overwhelmed knowing that I had absolutely no idea how to achieve the mission in front of me, or ability to do it. On the other hand I had this blind determination to stay and somehow be successful. All along since coming to Senegal, I had been praying fervently most nights on the balcony outside my bedroom, desperately trying to make a relationship with God and receive His guidance. Now, I could hardly pray or think.

I actually wasn't alone for very long. Soon a Japanese missionary from a neighboring country came to renew his visa to his own country. Senegal was a central point for the surrounding countries and often the missionaries from those countries came to Dakar to renew their visas. It was nice to have visitors but sometimes it made it more difficult for us Senegalese missionaries to unite and focus on our mission. At that time, though, I was so grateful to have someone else there.

A few weeks later Kathy Harting who had been expulsed from Dahomey (later called Benin), came to Senegal. Her stay in Senegal was a wonderful vacation from unity struggles and loneliness. We became good friends and could really share our hearts with each other. I learned so much from her. One unusual thing happened during that time while we were doing the prayer condition for Yankee Stadium. At that time Gary Fleischman, my brother-in-law, was also visiting from Mali. The three of us prayed together for this prayer condition and we had the strange experience of being attacked by uncontrollable laughter during our prayer. One of us would inadvertently pray something strange like praying for the vegetables in the kitchen and that would start us laughing so that we couldn't do our prayer. It was a strange kind of spiritual attack.

After a few months a new German missionary was assigned to Senegal and shortly after, a new Japanese missionary came and Kathy was sent to Ivory Coast. This began a very difficult period in my time in Senegal, which I am not proud of. These two missionaries had strong personalities and unity became extremely difficult for us. Looking back I can't believe we spent so much time arguing about who should be central figure. It's hard to describe how intense the situation felt at the time and why it was so difficult. I can only understand it based on the pressure created by the providential importance of our unity and, and, of course, our fallen natures that rose strongly to the surface. For many months we were spiritually paralyzed by this struggle and couldn't witness or do anything meaningful for the mission. At times, other Japanese missionaries came for visa reasons and they just kind of shook their heads at us. One of them once gave me some good advice how to handle my relationship with the Japanese missionary and things improved a bit after that. I remember us all going fishing together and actually having a good time. During that time it was so hard to pray and to feel close to God.

During that time we moved from our apartment in the center of town out to the residential area. We were still trying to overcome our difficult unity situation when a Japanese missionary who hadn't come before came for a while. He really tried to help us and things got a bit better. We moved to a new location and started doing some witnessing and people started coming to study Principle. The prospect of having new members seemed to intensify again the discussion about the central figure. There were four of us then in Senegal – two Japanese missionaries, a German missionary and myself. The original Japanese missionary had come back to Senegal around that time.

After struggling so much for what seemed like ages, all West African missionaries were called to Ivory Coast for a conference with Dr. Lady Kim. We were so excited! We had been in the mission field for almost 3 years and many people were thinking there would be changes after the three years were up. Especially since we had been struggling so much the past 2 years we were eager for something new.

The conference in Ivory Coast was such a good experience. Senegal is a very dry, desert-like country whereas Ivory Coast is green and lush. I'll never forget buying small sweet pineapples on the street. They were cut so you can hold them like a Popsicle and eat them. We didn't have pineapples in Senegal. It was so wonderful to see other missionaries and feel the deep bond that we had together because of our common experience. I spent a lot of time with my friend Kathy and felt really renewed spiritually.

Dr. Kim talked to us strongly about the importance of unity and also did a kind of ancestor liberation, which was a very new and strange experience for me. She also met with the Senegalese missionaries and spoke very strongly to us about unity. I felt so ashamed of our situation. At that time she told us we should not have any central figure and just work together as brothers and sisters.

So we went back to Senegal with a new resolve to move forward with the mission. We witnessed and started holding workshops. Because I was the only one who spoke French well enough I taught the workshops. Just working together as brothers and sisters without having to worry about the central figure issue was quite easy and pleasant.

It was amazing how well we got along. Then, one day we received a letter from headquarters saying that I should be the central figure. Suddenly everything changed. Our nice harmony was gone. The German missionary could unite with the direction pretty quickly but one Japanese missionary especially could absolutely not accept it. He would invite me out to talk somewhere and then insist that I write headquarters and tell them that I can't do it. His attitude became very extreme and he started making plans to move out and live separately with his spiritual son. Just at that moment, True Father called all the missionaries who weren't in their original countries to go to England to do Home Church. So the German and one Japanese missionary left for England. And the original Japanese missionary and I stayed in Senegal. This situation was an unforgettable lesson for me on the power and importance of the Cain and Able relationship. Without it, life seems easier because we can ignore or not be aware of our fallen nature. However, though it makes relationships very challenging, it is necessary for spiritual growth and as a foundation for God to work.

So 1978 was the time of a significant change in the focus of our mission in Senegal. Before that we were primarily focused on the issue of unity among the missionaries. But from that time we were focused on witnessing, teaching and raising members. After our first three members moved in and began witnessing, more and more people began coming, all of them young men. The original Japanese missionary worked for a Japanese company for a while but because he was nervous about his visa situation, he was sent to another country and another Japanese missionary came. I can't say that he and I were totally united in heart but we didn't fight and tried our best to work together.

Educating the new guests and members was such a big challenge for us. All we knew was the way we had been educated in the movement but the situation in Senegal was so different than in our countries. We prayed so much for Heavenly Father's guidance but still made many mistakes. I was acutely aware of lacking the heart and wisdom that was needed. But there was nowhere to turn except pray and do our best. It was so exciting when the first members moved in. They were Theodore, Joachim and Souleyman. Now, many years later, I can't remember the exact order of how we did things and when each member moved in. I do remember that I often had a hard time to really understand their hearts and that caused many misunderstandings and difficulties. But gradually a good number of wonderful and faithful members joined. They were all young men as it was difficult to bring women because of the way they were viewed and treated in the Moslem society. We did regular witnessing activities and held workshops on the weekends. Many young people came to our workshops though most of them couldn't understand the Divine Principle. I think some came because we served them food.

Following the direction given by True Parents, we initiated Home Church activities. Through Home Church I could see directly how polygamy was practiced and how it affected the people. Being predominately a Moslem country, polygamy was accepted and widely practiced in Senegal. Our members told me that a man was allowed to have four wives though I heard of cases where they had many more. One of our associate members told us that his father had had 35 wives and 107 children. In my Home Church there was a woman whose husband had 4 wives. In her case, her husband had the financial means to provide each wife with her own house. He spent two nights at a time with each wife continually going from house to house.

Though the people saw this as normal I could see that there was a sadness with this woman. I can imagine how difficult it must be, knowing that your husband is with other women when he's not with you and only being able to see him two days out of every eight. What kind of relationship could a man and woman have in this situation? Men see women as a possession and sexual object instead of an equal partner in life. And the father could not be so involved with the children or have much of a relationship with them.

There was another home where a rather young man lived with two wives. One wife put on nice clothes every day and went to work while the other wife stayed home and did the housework and cared for the children. One day I learned that the wife who stayed home had seriously hurt the baby of the other wife out of jealousy. From the many, many stories I heard about family situations in polygamy I realized that it destroys love and trust in the family and among the people in general. Sometimes, there are extreme situations where one wife will do something terrible to the child of another wife out of jealousy even to the point of trying to kill the child. But even when it is not so extreme there is a lot of distrust and jealousy among the different wives. And children of the same father but different mother can feel very competitive with each other or not have any relationship at all. I noticed, even with our members, when we taught them that we are all brothers and sisters, it didn't seem to mean much to some of them.

Jealousy is a big problem among the people. When I understood polygamy better I could understand why. Of course there are some families that somehow get along fairly well, but in general it is very evil. I came to the conclusion that one of the main causes of the suffering in Africa is polygamy.

One time, some years later, we were invited to visit a well-known marabou (Arabic for Moslem cleric) who had a ranch far out in the countryside. When we arrived we were led to a place a little distant from his compound where his men had just slaughtered a camel. He and his men were eating the liver of the camel raw, which they offered to us but we declined. They explained that they also eat the fat of the hump raw. It seemed like it was kind of a celebration. The marabou then took us into his house and gave us some time tea. Because I was a foreigner I, as a woman, was received along with the men. He showed us around his house and I could see that he had quite a few wives who took care of the house and children. Then he opened one door and proudly showed us a wife who was just lying on a mat on the floor. She was very big, didn't smile and had an empty look in her eyes. I was told that her sole purpose was to lie there and be available to her husband for conjugal relations any time of night or day whenever he wished. It was truly heartbreaking to see her.

Over the years, a number of different missionaries came to Senegal for some periods of time and then were sent to other countries. I no longer remember exactly when each one came or how long they stayed but I remember how great it was to have each person there. There were two German missionaries, Werner and his French wife, Lorette who gave birth to their first child in Senegal, and Annerose who stayed for a couple of years, I think. Kevin Winter was with us for some time and several Japanese missionaries, Kuniosan, Kanadanisan, and Mistunorisan. Though the struggle for unity was never as intense as in the first years, I remember that it still wasn't easy to be really united in heart. I attribute that especially to my own fallen nature and willfulness.

During our years in Senegal, one thing that meant so much to me was the Today's World magazine. It connected us to True Parents and what was going on around them. I remember that whenever it would arrive, I was like a starving person who was suddenly presented with food. I rushed into my room and read the whole thing in one sitting. Seeing pictures of True Parents holding celebrations in New York with members made me feel such a longing to be there. I wondered if the members who attended those gatherings knew how lucky they were to be able to see True Parents like that. I felt so envious of them – and still do today.

Foundation Internationale de Secours and d'Amitie (International Foundation for Help and Friendship)

In 1983 we decided to do a service project and started FISA. We set up a small center in a very poor area of Dakar with the intention of teaching handicapped people to sew so they could give up their life of begging and make a living for themselves. In Dakar there were so many beggars on the streets everywhere many of whom were victims of polio. Our idea was to work with such people. My husband, Justin, went to America to buy some simple sewing machines and we found some tailors who could teach.

Our members took the principle responsibilities for this center. We started with about a dozen students but after a time they all gave up and went back to the life of begging that they were used to. We had so many difficulties trying to work with those people because of their mentality so we changed our idea and decided to teach young people. We found a house in a better neighborhood that we rented and set up our teaching center. We experienced many difficulties in the process of setting up and running this center because of our lack of training and experience. It was truly "on the job training."

One day we had the great honor to be visited by the wife of the President of Senegal, Madame Diouf. It was a very exciting day for us and for the students. She spent quite a bit of time with us learning about the center and looking at the items created by the students.

After the students finished their training we gave them a sewing machine and helped them set up their own shop. The FISA continued until early 1990s. Today, one of the students from FISA is a blessed member of the Unification Church in Senegal.

Financial Activities

During our first couple of years in the mission we received a monthly allowance from our home countries of $300 each. In the beginning we could just manage to survive by pooling our money. I remember just one time during the first 4 months that we completely ran out of money and food for a day but the next day some money arrived. After some months, I was able to get a job as a secretary at the English Language Institute of the American Cultural Center. I could barely type but I managed to do what they wanted. They had a large book there full of beautiful pictures of America and as I was still feeling very homesick, looking at that book would always bring me to tears.

Later, I was able to get a job teaching English at the center. At that time, the only criteria to be able to teach, was to be American. I had no experience or training but they had books we followed so I managed. The teaching job paid very well so it was a big source of income for our mission. I taught for many years until they instituted the policy that you had to have a college degree to teach there - which I didn't have. I was very grateful for that job which enabled me to support our mission but didn't take up huge amounts of my time.

I think it was around 1979 that we started our first fundraising activities. My husband, Justin, who was still in America, furnished us with two or three Polaroid cameras and film and the members went out offering to take pictures of people for a small fee. It took them some time to master the technique of taking the pictures and approaching people but then it was fairly successful as a way to make money for our center. The main problem was keeping a supply of film. Realizing that we needed a product that we could make or buy locally, we tried many different things including candles. The members worked very hard going out all day in the hot sun and the missionaries also went out fundraising. Missionary sisters could make a lot of money going to Lebanese shop owners with items and asking for donations.

Then the German missionary from Mali who was an artist came to Senegal. He produced beautiful artwork by spraying paint through stencils that he made. We sold his artwork very successfully for many years.

In 1986, my husband, who was then in Senegal, took a loan on a family trust and we opened an American restaurant following the model set up in Abidjan. It was called Hamburger House. It was in downtown Dakar in a nice neighborhood. Though I had no experience, I had the mission of managing the restaurant. We received a lot of help and support from Kathy Rigney and Dee Yakpore who came a little later from Ivory Coast to help. It was certainly a great adventure! Looking back, I realize my lack of experience really affected the restaurant but somehow it was pretty successful and was still running when we left in 1992. We served typical American food like hamburgers, French fries, chicken soup, tuna salad sandwiches, apple pie, etc. It was so gratifying when Peace Corps volunteers came in after spending time in the villages because they got so excited about the food. We had a TV where we played Looney Tune cartoons. Even though we had the restaurant, the income wasn't enough to completely support our mission so we also continued with fundraising activities.

My Family Life in Senegal

My husband and I were blessed in 1975 and shortly after the blessing I was sent to Senegal as a missionary. I always expected that my husband would come join me but it wasn't easy for him to make that decision. Finally, in 1982 he came to Senegal. He immediately went to a town in southern Senegal to do a 40-day pioneer condition, which was quite amazing. When he came back to Dakar he supported our mission for a while by fundraising. Though my husband couldn't speak French before he came to Senegal, he picked it up very quickly and in a year or so could speak very well.

Our first son was born on December 13, 1983. I had the good fortune to be able to go to a Lebanese clinic to give birth to our children. It wasn't as good or expensive as the French clinics but was better than the local hospitals. At that time, I was still the central figure. The night before our son was born, I had been up late meeting with leaders. I remember waking up many times during the night with a stomachache and thinking that I better get rid of this stomachache before I go into labor. In the morning I discovered it was labor. Shortly after our son was born, Heung Jin Nim had his accident and passed into the spirit world. It was such a difficult time. We never imagined that something like that would happen to a member of True Family. It was so painful and at the same time we were feeling the joy of our first child. It was very difficult to reconcile the two kinds of feelings.

We had four sons while we were in Senegal. Our fifth son was born here in America. Compared to giving birth in America, in some ways it was nicer and more personal in Senegal. However, I had no one to look to for advice concerning childbirth and raising children so it was rather lonely. Since we had no women members I had to hire someone to take care of the children while I did the mission. After our third child I focused mainly on taking care of the children. We lived in the center all the time we were there so our children received a lot of love from the members. We left Senegal in February 1992 to return to America following the direction given to us by Rev. Kwak.

This is a brief summary of my experiences. It would take a longer time than I have now to write about everything! And I have forgotten some things and also often the time sequence of things. But what remains is the feeling of deep love for the members and for Senegal. This year, 2015, in June we had the great blessing of visiting Senegal with most of our family. It was a deeply moving and joyful experience! Though the country has changed a great deal since we left, it was still Senegal. I felt absolutely at home there and it was so wonderful to see the old members again and meet their wives and children!

When we were there all of the members were young men so having the wives there has made a huge difference. It was also so meaningful for our children to visit the country of their birth. I felt a deep bond of heart with the members – as if we had not been separated at all. They are doing so well, persevering through may difficulties with strong faith and commitment. We all experienced a kind of rebirth experience in finally being able to meet again. For me, I felt that Senegal is my true home country.

Schwaller, Wolfgang, “Foreign Mission To India From May 1976 Until June 1979 / Part 1”

1977 with Papa-san Choi (middle), 36 blessed couple visiting India, and right it's me

Two and a half years passed since I first came to India. I went there in 1976 as a foreign missionary of the Unification Church. Our centre and home were located outside the city of Bombay.

Every day it took me one hour by train to go there and one hour to come back. On the way I saw many scenes of hopelessness. In fact, in my whole life, I’ve never seen such misery. So many people are all clustered together. The first impression, came from the countless beggars, hanging around and they moved me very deeply. These were inhuman living conditions, in whatever direction I looked. There were small children, young and older people all looking for something eatable or simply begging on dusty roads. Now and then the beggars approached me as well, because of the general belief that tourists and foreigners have lots of money. They were expecting a handout from us. If I wouldn’t have felt the responsibility for my new mission country, as well as God’s heart, I might have left India right away. But I did push these thoughts fast aside.

Today I already got accustomed to many things, like the overcrowded buses, trains and the long human queues, for example. One had to be quite athletic to get on and off the bus. It felt like being in a can of sardines, there were simply too many passengers. Those who really didn’t have any money, got to ride for free, the conductor didn’t seem to mind. Riding on the roof or even almost hanging outside of the bus or train— everything seemed to be o.k.

The trains are so overcrowded that ......

......overloaded public transport bus.

At the market place the situation wasn’t very different. It was very difficult to purchase rice and vegetables at the end of a workday or especially on weekends. For an Indian, time is not overly important; they live in the moment, instead of for the future. Quite the contrary, we Europeans are always mindful, that everything works out as fast as possible.

The sacred cow in India

The street market in Calcutta

The population of India is 700 million inhabitants. Note: I wrote this report in 1978. In the last 30 years the population has grown and has now more than 400 million inhabitants more than before.

Thus it represents the second largest nation on earth after China. About 80 per cent of the population lives in misery and poverty. Over 75 per cent are illiterates and speak only their native dialect. For a regular Indian, human beings possess the same value as nature and the animal world.

So nobody feels really disturbed, when the cows are walking on roads and sidewalks. The cow is a sacred animal for the Indian and its meat, by law, cannot be consumed. Now and then I observed, how a sacred cow got rice and vegetables to eat, while the cows of hungry beggars stood around, watching the spectacle. The holy cow—the religious custom from Hinduism, the most widespread religion in the country.

The larger cities of India, however, are strongly influenced by western values. This caused the disappearance of older Indian habits and customs. Western fashion and food are westernizing the Indian subcontinent.

In the countryside, where tens of thousands of illiterates live, Indian traditions are still strongly practiced. Reincarnation, the belief that humans are physically re-born after death, is deeply rooted in the Indian soul. They also strongly belief, that they can be born again in an animal.

But early on Christianity had gained a strong foothold in India. The apostle Thomas brought the gospel after the crucifixion of Jesus Christ into the southern part of India. Then, in the 16th Century, the British came and settled on the Indian subcontinent by opening up tea companies; this lead into India becoming a British colony. Mahatma Gandhi was the driving force behind the movement that lead the regaining of India’s independence and autonomy in 1947. Today, Indians are impressed by western life- style, they admire Western science, technology and the Western educational system. It is therefore a great challenge for us three missionaries to bring new hope and a new world vision to the people in India.

1976 Missionaries to India: Sara Tow (USA), Kazuhiro-san (Japan) and Wolfgang Schawaller (Germany)

Our 1st Unification Church centre outside Bombay. Two provisional rooms only on an animal farm.

Our first Unification Church Centre consisted of two provisional rooms on an animal farm.

Mosquito nets were covering the windows to protect us from the aggressive insect. What was bothering us the most, were the mosquitoes and the unbearable heat. Technology in our center was practically non-existent, everything was quite primitive, so we prepared our meals on an old petroleum cooker. These were the integrants: Sara, our sister from America, Kazuhiro, the brother from Japan and me from Germany. At the very beginning we agreed to use English as our common language, but even though—cultural and language misunderstandings were quite common at the beginning of our endeavor. But still, we understood each other without much problems. In the city, we rented a small office, to invite our guests. We conversed about every conceivable topic with them— about God and the Spirit World, about the purpose of life and the ideal world. We were teaching the Divine Principles, the teachings of the Unification Church and we discussed all of that with our guests. The Indian philosophy stresses very strongly the invisible world and therefore it is not too difficult to talk about God and spiritual things in general. However, putting things into practice is a very different matter altogether and it seemed to be a huge challenge for the Indians. As we know, Christian values always require changes.

We opened up a small school in Calcutta by cleaning up and reconditioning a garage and transforming it into a small classroom. Up to ten children between the ages of seven to twelve were attending. Our Indian students were getting regular lessons by Anita, an Indian member of our Church. Every day she was teaching three to four hours. The children were from our neighborhood; their parents had a small income and lived under extremely poor circumstances. Sending children to school was not affordable by the families. Therefore, they were left to their sad fate. It was such a joy to see our “Little Indians” sitting in that overhauled garage and studying. For the first time in their lives these kids were dealing with books! A whole new life was opening up for them!

I learned so much from the people of this country. During the first years, I could gain so many experiences. Indians are very warm-hearted people making it easy to relate to them. It turned out that being European and having white skin was an advantage, because many wanted to be friends with me.

Many times I was invited by Indian families whose sons and daughters supported our Church mission. Indian hospitality is impressive! It is a requirement in India. As soon as you enter somebody’s home, you are offered a cup of tea.

Another point that moved and impressed me deeply is the relationship between parents and children. It simply seems to be deeper and more intimate, than in the Western word. Even if a son or daughter marries, he or she continue to live with their parent and support them until their death. Terms like “Senior Citizen’s Home” or “Homes for Children” aren’t being used here. I was impressed, of how responsible members of the family felt for each other.

Furthermore, Indians seemed peaceful and patient to me, in contrast to us Westerners. It seems, that we are a lot more impatient, active and hectic. Us Europeans emphasize much more on the individual, while people in the east pay more attention to the collective.

I could see very clearly, how these two worlds (East and West) need each other and are able to supplement each other.

My hope was to help the poor people in India in various ways. I wished to serve, to convey the heart of God and this new message for the age of today in India.

Nancy Hanna, "Internal Challenges to a Missionary"

These five years as a foreign missionary have been a time of tremendous internal re-evaluation, struggle and growth. Even though I had been in our church four years before going out to the foreign mission, I feel like it was only in the foreign mission that my internal spiritual life began to take root. Perhaps this is just the natural course of one's first seven years in our church; maybe only in the latter years does one really begin to grow internally. But I still feel that my internal growth was hastened and more profound due to the special challenges of a foreign mission.

In my first years in our church I worked hard externally, but internally I was not changing much -- partly, perhaps, because I was not mature enough to take control over my internal life and partly because our movement in general did not emphasize internal guidance. As one grows older in Principle, it becomes more and more difficult to work hard without making major internal changes. The foundation of the Barrytown lectures, however, set my life in a more internal direction.

When you are in a country where our movement is large, you can often avoid challenging yourself to grow internally; Father or some other leader comes and stimulates you, and the hard work of your brothers and sisters on all sides spurs you on. But in the foreign mission, nobody will come to push you, nobody will see you slacking off. Whenever you do something, it is because you inspired yourself to do it.

In the beginning of a foreign mission, I think it is especially easy to fall apart spiritually. You probably do not feel so close to the Japanese and German missionaries, and there is nothing to cheer you up in the outside environment. In fact, in many of our countries, everywhere you look you see misery, corruption, poverty, ignorance, oppression. One missionary wrote me that he found so much misery in his country that he sometimes felt he was living in an "open wound."

The United States has such an abundance of comforting sights in its physical surroundings. I grew up in California, surrounded by physical beauty. It required a big adjustment for me to live here in depressing dirt and ugliness of the city. I had absolutely nowhere to go to receive the comfort of natural beauty. With no escape at hand, I was forced to grow internally as never before.

There are certain things I thought about constantly and certain internal questions I struggled to understand or resolve. I want to share some of my internal realizations:

Changing myself

I knew that the spiritual drought I felt inside meant I had to make a number of internal changes. But in order to change yourself, you have to see exactly what is wrong with you, something that can cause extreme internal pain; still, each of us resists seeing what needs to improve. It took a lot of strength for me to look inside myself and find what needed to be changed. I realized that in the beginning of my Principle life I, like many others perhaps, continued to think and act in accordance to my own ideas. But as a missionary I found that old pattern breaking down. I had to begin, in a sense, on the ground level, organizing my life according to the Principle standards and building a whole new self.

Because I began to remake myself according to Principle standards, I felt my course paralleled True Father's individual course, as he strove to find the truth and become the embodiment of it. Maybe many of the things I learned during this time are similar to things that Father first learned.

I found changing myself to be very difficult; in effect, it requires training myself. I had not known that, for I thought that you just worked hard in the church and then your wrinkles would automatically be ironed out. I was looking toward the church structure to change me, not to myself as the agent of change.

But now I realize that each one of us is responsible for ourselves. We have to take control of our spiritual lives, and we cannot depend forever on others to bring about our spiritual transformation.

Once I began to see the things that needed to be altered, their quantity nearly overwhelmed me. I made efforts to change, but as I did, I felt frustrated and discouraged by the difficulties in remolding old habits of thinking and acting. Father's speeches sent by headquarters always inspired me. One thing Father said several times that comforted me very much was that he also had to struggle terribly to master and train himself. This consoled me, because I think we have the tendency to think that because Father is the Messiah, he does not have to struggle so much to overcome himself. We often expect results to come easily, but the fact that Father himself underwent a terrible struggle to overcome his physical desires and master his nature gave me great comfort. I understood that my difficulties were only natural.

We had a wonderful experience with the visit of Mr. Sang Ik Choi. He was very good to our family and gave us so much. He set a high example. I wondered how he could be that way. Studying him, I realized that his secret lay in his personal discipline. He had trained himself until he became able to give naturally. Seeing him taught me again a lesson that nothing comes automatically. If I wanted to become a good person, it was not going to happen by magic or chance: I had to take the personal responsibility for controlling and training myself according to the Principle. I had to analyze, investigate and direct my life according to that standard; otherwise, I would be just marking time in our church and never really growing.

Becoming a responsible person

After realizing that I had to take responsibility for my perfection, I found that in order to be able to make the great effort necessary to achieve the goal, I had to want perfection very much. It occurred to me that many people leave our church at the point of finding out just how difficult our road to personal perfection and the ideal world actually is. When you know how difficult it is going to be, the temptation comes to turn back. At the time of temptation, it is fortunate to be in a miserable country. Here, the evil of Satan's world is much more naked and exposed than in a place like the United States, where abundant material wealth decorates the spiritual emptiness and things do not look so bad externally. But here, people do not have pretty houses, lovely cars, fine clothes or elegant make-up to cover up the spiritual reality In a poor country you meet evil face to face. I saw it and I hated it; I had no intention of returning to that world.

Then I realized I had to take personal responsibility for myself, and I began to strongly desire to. Seeing evil so clearly made goodness very precious and desirable. Previously, if I had a difficulty, I would rationalize it or blame my leader or external circumstances. But now I knew I could not do that -- I alone was responsible. To put the blame anywhere else would mean running away from my personal responsibility and preventing my growth.

Our debt to God

Previously, I had the misconception that through my efforts, I was being a big help to God. If I went through some anguish, I thought I was suffering for God. If I brought some good result, I thought I had done it for God. But now I think quite differently. Looking back, I realize that while I was certainly trying to help God out, the reverse was actually true -- He was aiding me. God was training me, serving me and raising me, and all the while I was being quite a burden to Him. It seems as if all my experiences have been just to educate me, and I have not yet reached point zero, where I can begin to give God more help than what He is giving me. So far I have suffered for myself alone, for my training and growth. Also, I realize that much of the suffering I had experienced in our church was brought upon me by my own fallen nature.

I sincerely hope that I can get to the point where I can help God. In the meantime, I feel greatly indebted to Him. God is working so hard, trying to help me become a purified and mature person who can fulfill her portion of responsibility.

Aggressive vs. passive member

I had been following the way of our church, but I was a little bit like the donkey who walked forward because someone tied a carrot to the stick in front of him. I needed either someone in front to encourage me -- even if it was a false hope -- or somebody behind me, pushing me forward. But now, because of my own strong desires, I myself want to go this way.

I love goodness for goodness sake. I want goodness so much that I find it worth all the suffering. Before, I did not appreciate suffering, but now I can even welcome it, because I know that it is for my own good and that God sends it to make me a better person. Now I want to live a challenging life, because I know that even greater good will result. This is very different from feeling a passive acceptance of difficulties in our church. It means appreciating them and aggressively looking for the arduous path. At least now, when a difficult time of suffering appears, I try to cultivate a grateful heart, rather than complaining or feeling bitter and resentful.

Pure motivation

Without reflecting internally on my motivation, I used to be satisfied when I was doing the right thing externally. As I began to try changing internally, I soon noticed that while I was often doing the right thing externally, my internal motivation was wrong or selfish. My motivation, for example, was to get praise or approval from others. How then, I wondered, could I learn to do things from a pure, unselfish desire?

Many times, for instance, I offered something in order to receive something in return later. Realizing this, I have had to try hard to be careful and analyze my motivations, checking for selfishness.

Unconditional love

Closely connected with the problem of pure motivation is that of unconditional love. In my foreign mission country, I had to seriously confront the problem of how to love without reservation. In the United States, if you give just a little love to one of the members, he can usually feel its effect and respond fully. Here, however, it often seemed that I just gave and gave, and little or nothing came back; people's hearts are not so fertile. It was so easy to get depressed and discouraged, and I had to struggle very much with how to feel good when there are no results, and how to keep giving when I received nothing in return.

Over these five years I continually felt frustrated and depressed over the lack of results. God was trying to teach me something. I knew that it was not right to become depressed over the frustrations and lack of results, but I did not see my way out of such a predicament. Finally, I realized that my giving -- both to God and to other people -- had been very conditional. I would give, but keep some strings attached; I had some expectations for a certain response or return, when it did not come, I felt depressed or discouraged.

I realized that the spiritually mature person just gives without any conditions or expectations. A spiritually mature person gives because giving is good; he does goodness for goodness sake. I know it will take me a long time to develop into that kind of person, but I understand that such is my goal, and that I can never be happy in giving love until it is an unselfish, undemanding love.

The key to giving unconditionally and enduring disappointments is to connect my heart to God and True Parents. They have given far more than I, yet have received so little in return. The knowledge that I share in their heart and experience has given me the best comfort and encouragement.

Humility

If God always would allow me to bring results, it would be easy to develop a pride in being somehow better than others. Then I would not have a humble and sympathetic heart towards those who struggle hard and bring very few results. I know that God was also trying to teach me humility. Now after the experience of laboring very hard and getting few results, I can feel much more compassion and unity with those who have had to struggle in order to accomplish. I see now that whether or not was accomplish a lot externally has a lot to do with our ancestors and is not necessarily something we can feel proud about as an individual.

Worldwide heart

From looking at the situation of the people in my country, I know that I have nothing to complain about in front of God. I am a doubly lucky person: not only was I born in externally favorable circumstances in the United States, but also am spiritually blessed in being able to follow the Principle and True Parents. After seeing the misery in a poor country and knowing that this is the way most of the people in the world live, I feel much less able to complain to God about anything in my life; from any global perspective, I am an extremely blessed person.

Also, I am grateful for the misery I encountered here and the opportunity to unite in heart with people in sad circumstances. You must know misery in order to understand misery. After being here, I feel I understand Father better, and I realize that he worries about the world. I see what sad situations agonize his heart and God's heart as well. I can feel why they are crying over the situation of the world. Staying in the United States, I could never have learned this. Now I worry much more about the world situation from a global perspective and with a global heart. This helps tremendously to unite with God's heart and Father's heart.

Furthermore, I deeply admire Father's greatness an. faith. I value the Unification Church more than ever, because now I know just what a great hope it offers to this world and how desperately it is needed. The True Parents, the Unification Church and the Principle are truly the hope of this world; I know this now as I never did before.

The value of shame

Before, if I made a mistake, I would rather not confront it; I would turn around and run past it as fast as possible. In this way, I repeated the same mistakes again and again. The shame of committing the mistake was too painful for me, and I wanted to avoid it by either rationalizing the mistake or not pausing to investigate the failure. Now I understand that the pain of shame actually aids our growth and indicates the working of our human conscience, setting us apart from the animals.

I was amazed to read in Father's speeches that he always feels shame because he has not done enough. If Father feels so much shame, with all that he does, then I certainly should not and can not avoid shame. The better the person, the more shame he feels. It sounds like a contradiction, but it is the saint, not the worldly person, who has a very sensitive conscience and therefore feels more shame. The more worldly person may not feel shame because his conscience is dead or cloudy.

Now I can more openly welcome the feeling of shame. It means that my original mind is working and guiding me on the way to perfection; if I can endure shame, I can grow faster. By responding to the direction of my shame, I can eventually develop a life of which I need not be ashamed.

I can never get rid of shame by pushing it away, but only by opening myself to it, repenting and purifying myself.

Relationship to True Parents

I have come closer to True Parents because of sharing so many similar experiences in the foreign mission. I understand that because Father was born in a country of suffering, he was forced to think more deeply about how to end human suffering and evil. I also had to consider how to end evil and suffering when I confronted it in my mission country. Since my country is a kind of microcosm of the problems of the world, I have also developed more of a worldwide consciousness of human problems.

I have had to raise up people spiritually from a standard far below my expectations; this helps me to understand Father's heart, as he has devoted himself to the same task. I have struggled more than ever before to discipline myself and live according to the standard of the Principle. Therefore, I can understand something of Father's struggles to train and perfect himself. After seeing the suffering of the people in poorer countries, I feel more responsibility and seriousness about helping them; knowing the pressure of the world situation helps me to unite with Father's urgent and responsible attitude.

Recently I read in Father's account of Mother's course how one of her major difficulties was to accept whatever suffering came her way without complaint. During my five years here I have also struggled to accept suffering and problems without complaint; I have even felt gratitude. Therefore, I feel I understand Mother's course much better now

Relationship with God

Because of the lonely circumstances of the foreign mission, I have been able to develop a much deeper relationship with God. Surrounded by a big movement and many members, it is easier to be distracted from the task of developing a deep relationship with Heavenly Father. But in the foreign mission, not only is your external environment foreign to you, but your fellow missionaries as well. In addition to the loneliness, there are new difficulties. As a result, I have become much more dependent on my prayer life. I find it as necessary as daily food. Because prayer was often my only way to get help, I have learned the power of prayer and have seen countless times a direct cause and effect relationship between my prayer and the course of events.

Here I have witnessed human suffering as I never saw it in the United States. I also saw problems of a global scale. This opened my heart to God's heart, because I could cry and worry over the world situation as He does. Grateful and appreciative for His immense suffering, I yearn to end it. I understand better His frustrated heart, ever reaching out to people and trying to make them grasp the truth, even though they may be incapable of understanding it. I remain humbled by God's patience and long suffering. 

Thomas Cromwell, "My Egyptian Missionary Prison Testimony"

In my mission country, the ultimate terror was to ace questioning by the Mukhabarat. The security service was only mentioned in whispers as there were countless stories of careers and lives destroyed by them. Christians worried in particular, as they were in a weak position as a minority. Fear of the Mukhabarat was used by mischief-makers against personal enemies. To spread false allegations (such as accusations of political or religious agitation) Muslims looking for a convenient weapon with which to attack Christians were sometimes tempted to use the Mukhabarat weapon to blackmail, intimidate or rat on an enemy. Of course, Christians could use it too and this is how I came to be interrogated.

When my turn for interrogation came, I was already sure of my game plan. Instead of denying that I belonged to the Unification Movement, I stressed that I thought it quite natural for me to have a religion and that it was likewise natural for me to discuss it and share literature about it with others. I told them I was a big supporter of the President and that I thought this was a great nation which historically had tolerated all kinds of people and ideas. They seemed to accept my arguments, and I was released.

These experiences deepened my understanding of Jesus' suffering. He offered himself in all purity and simplicity to save mankind, yet the chosen people did not recognize him, misinterpreted his words as blasphemy, scorned his sincerity and sought to discredit his words and deeds. Eventually a key disciple, Judas, betrayed him to religious authorities who used the law of their religion to, in effect, serve the purpose of Satan. They turned him over to the Roman authorities who, in turn, misused their own secular laws to kill Jesus. All human decency was denied, all morality violated, all justice travestied. God's purpose of creation was perverted through the desecration of the principles of human dignity and love. Now I had tasted the bitterness and sorrow Jesus must have experienced being so alone in a world that completely misunderstood him. I understood betrayal by your own closest disciple to be an especially bitter experience.

The Arrest

My wife Katherine and I had both found jobs at an American company, doing editing and proofreading. While working there one day, I was taken (by a man in grey) to the immigration department. I had no idea what was happening, but I soon found out.

I gathered that I was to be arrested and sent under guard to the capital. When I was told to go with two policemen to another office (just to answer some questions, the officer assured me with one of those smiles), I immediately guessed something serious was afoot. My concerns were confirmed when suddenly they tried to put handcuffs on me.

I was stunned. There is something completely demeaning about having to wear handcuffs, as if all one's manhood and dignity are being taken away. You become a puppet of the one who holds the key. Since they wanted me to take the two policemen with me in my car, I argued that I could not drive with my hands in cuffs. This was logical enough and they decided to forego using them.

The handcuffs episode made it clear that I was in for real trouble. I agreed to go with the officers (what choice did I have?), but as soon as we were moving I turned the car towards our apartment. The officers protested loudly, but a small baksheesh (a coin) persuaded them to accept the diversion. Once home, I left a note for Katherine, who didn't even know I had left work, saying that

I was going to the capital and suspected that deportation was the reason. (I had not been told anything by the police). I also left my passport with her, knowing that I would have to return to get it before leaving the country. That way I would be able to see Katherine and make arrangements before departing from the country.

Leaving the car parked outside our apartment, I took a taxi with my two guards to the train station. After a while, we boarded a crowded train to the capital.

As we pulled out of the station, a Ramadan evening was falling. Our train wound slowly through Nile delta farmlands, while the sun slid gracefully towards the horizon. My mind went back over the three years I had spent here. I felt a deep sense of internal peace. I was not afraid of whatever awaited me. I knew I had laid a foundation in the three years I had been in my city. It had been a period of many difficulties but eventual victory.

Once the sun had finally descended out of sight, the Muslims with me on the train broke their fast. They generously invited me to join them. By the time the train arrived several hours later, I was on good terms with the policemen. They had been told to take me to the immigration department, but of course there was no one responsible there at 10 p.m. Somehow they figured out that I was to go to the prison, at the foot of the citadel, several kilometers away. We finally found the prison, and I "checked in."

Deprived of Freedom

Prisoners from other countries were kept in a single large room with a concrete floor, a lone light bulb and a few roach-infested toilets at one end. There were a few blankets to be shared among the inmates, meaning that on crowded nights some prisoners had to sleep on the bare concrete.

I sat against a wall, and for the first time the reality of being in prison sank in. I had often wondered what prison would be like and had wanted an opportunity to share Father's experience of jail, even if only on a small scale. This was definitely a good place for an authentic prison experience.

The worst thing about incarceration is that you are deprived of your free will. You cannot leave your room when you want to. I longed only to be able to walk into a cafe, order coffee, drink it at my leisure and then leave. I could not imagine Heaven offering more than that simple freedom.

Prisoners in my large cell were from various countries. While I was there I met inmates from Iraq, Syria, China, America and Japan, but especially Palestinians from other Arab countries (or without any nationality at all), some of them being expelled after being tortured for alleged political activities. To a man, they were very bitter.

We were also joined by a wealthy butcher who had stabbed someone and should have been with the other prisoners from his country but paid a daily bribe to be allowed to stay with us, sleeping on a soft mattress and served by attentive guards. The prison quarters for the natives themselves were not fit for dogs.

I decided to fast to protest my imprisonment without an explanation. Since it was Ramadan, I fasted completely, not eating or drinking. However, after four full days of this, with no visible interest shown by the guards, I stopped.

There was no opportunity to phone or contact the outside world. I had just disappeared. Fortunately I had been able to inform my wife, otherwise she would have had no idea at all about my whereabouts.

I was soon joined in prison by the Japanese missionary brother who had been working in the capital and had also been ordered to leave the country. After a few days together we managed to organize our situation in the prison fairly well, moving up to the favored position closest to the door. We paid the guards for some wire and a light bulb and rigged a light bulb above our beds so that we could pass the time reading. (When the main bulb went out, ours was the only one left in that large dark room.)

A Lengthy Process

The day after I arrived in the capital I was ushered in to the smiling colonel. When he found I had come from my city without a passport (or clothes, or money), the grin on his face rapidly evaporated and he became very angry indeed. He had to arrange for me to return to there under guard so that I could gather my things and return.

That took four days to organize. Once the preparations were complete, a prison truck turned up to take me to the train station. This was most remarkable. On every other occasion (before and after this one), movement from place to place under guard was accomplished according to the transportation I could provide: my car or a taxi if I paid for it. The alternatives were a public bus (free of charge for the guards and their prisoners) or walking.

At any rate, on this occasion I was treated like a real threat to the security of the country. Four guards, including an officer, were detailed to escort me. One of them (the smallest and least able to argue with his superiors) was detailed to be handcuffed to me (poor fellow).

We made it to the train without a group of crack Unificationist commandos mounting a daring raid to free me from my captivity, and the guards all sighed with relief.

When we arrived in my city, I was turned over to a lone "grey man," who single-handedly managed to check me into a police station. The next day I was able to meet Katherine, explain what had happened, get a suitcase of clothes, money and my passport. We arranged with the officer in charge for Katherine and me to drive back to the capital with two guards as our passengers. I delivered myself to the prison, and then said goodbye to Katherine (and my guards).

With my passport now firmly in his possession, you would think the colonel would be in heaven. Wrong. My passport had been water-damaged in a boating accident (not serious) that resulted in blurriness on the page that had the number of my previous passport. At any rate, he decided I should not be deported on a less than perfect passport.

I was to get a new one first, so that I could be deported properly. This added the complication of having to get me, with two recent passport photographs, to the British embassy; but the colonel was up to it. He had me escorted to the courtyard where several people made a living taking photographs with some wonderful 19th century cameras (no shutters, just caps over the lenses which are removed for a short period to expose the film).

That picture was taken some 20 days after my arrest when my hair and beard were rather long and wild, making me look like Moses or a terrorist, depending on whether you were a Middle East border police officer or not. However, the British embassy could not complain that my picture was out of date.

When I did finally get to the embassy, the consular officials were very surprised to see me, wondering where I had come from. My captors had not bothered to inform the embassy of their decision to deport me and the consul (a wonderful, sympathetic lady) was amazed at my apparent calm. (She told me of two foreigners, a Dutchman and a Japanese, who had died from shock on being thrown into my prison.)

The consul was angry that I had been sent to the embassy handcuffed to a guard while the officer in charge at the prison kept the key. This was the only time that happened as it violated regulations and clearly was dangerous. I had to drag the guard around the embassy and everywhere else I went that day. The embassy processed a new passport rapidly and called the Japanese embassy to inform it of the Japanese brother's status, which they had not known. (The Japanese embassy then acted very fast to get him out of prison and onto a flight out of the country.) The consul drove me back to prison. As we rode along, she asked me what the guards were talking to me about. When I told her they were asking for a baksheesh and I was refusing to give one to them, she was horrified. By that time I was used to the country, but she was just learning.

On Sunday, September 18, 1978, the 24th day after my arrest, after a final night in the airport prison I was put on a plane to Athens and freedom.

Historical Significance

That was also the day that Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin signed the Camp David Peace Accords in the presence of President Jimmy Carter. The negotiations at Camp David had paralleled our period of incarceration and I felt we had paid part of the indemnity necessary for that historic breakthrough for peace in the Middle East.

During the period of imprisonment, there had been many trips back and forth between the prison and various offices of the Ministry of the Interior, finalizing the paperwork for my deportation. Typically, a guard would call the names of those of us who had to go out each morning. We would be handcuffed to other prisoners or to a guard and then taken to the office for that day. Most of the time, I never even spoke to anyone at those offices. My guard(s) would just attach my handcuffs to a convenient bar and take care of the documents. Signatures from two different offices would take two days.

At first I refused to put on the handcuffs. However, when the Japanese missionary also refused, the guards became afraid (they had seen too many Bruce Lee movies). They would not let our group leave without putting handcuffs on him. I suggested the two of us be hand-cuffed together. From that time on, I accepted the handcuffs.

It was a very humbling experience to have to walk through the very center of the capital in handcuffs. Passersby would comment on what they assumed your crime to be, and some were remarkable authoritative in tone. (Interesting, since to this day I do not know the reason myself.) I kept expecting to bump into a former student or friend. After my money ran out I could no longer afford taxis. The only alternatives then were the public bus or walking.

Yet this was a rich experience. I had held a secret desire to experience prison so that I could understand Father's course better. I was not disappointed. On the one hand, I had to swallow all false pride, substituting for it the pride of God's son going that course for the sake of the providence of restoration. Being escorted, like any other criminal, through the city streets was only a humiliation if I didn't offer the experience to God.

I felt Father walking beside me, victorious. Unlike the bitterness of my previous experience, when the suffering of Jesus became so real to me, my experience this time showed me the world of Father's unassailable victory over Satan, and over every sort of adversity. I felt closer to him in that prison than I ever had sitting in front of him during conferences in America. It was a priceless experience of the substantial True Parents.