Hyung Moon Jin and Yeon Ah Moon
January 16, 2013
Excerpts
Hyung Jin Nim: Brothers and sisters we have to remember there's a process, and nobody's perfect, so every week we want to improve. Every day, every week, we don't have to try to make huge leaps, but we want to make many small leaps, tiny, tiny steps, and then watch: two or three years later, we find God has worked a miracle! You don't even know it is happening day by day, but when you look back to three years earlier, life has changed!
From Cheon Seong Gyeong, p. 1289
The key that can unlock the sexual organ of a man is owned by the woman, and the key for the woman is owned by the man. There is only one key for every person. There must only be one key per person. Do you want to possess ten or twenty keys, as in the case of free sex? Do you want to become a ruined house who has its gates open for everyone and does not have an owner? Do you want to become a place that anyone can pass through, and come and go at will?
Look at that again: Father speaks of the sexual organs as "the house" Of course, he speaks of the "gates" and the "key" and the "owner" -- the house needs an owner -- Father is clear.... The key to a man's heart is not just his stomach. You don't win a man by just making him a nice steak. Father is very clear; it's his holy palace. And the key to a woman's holy palace is her heart.
When you look at the Chinese character for "sex," it has the character for "heart" within it, on the left. On the right side is the character for "life." So the key to the heart, the key to life, is absolute sex. The man, as the subject, should first give love to his wife, he should touch her heart. For women, their heart needs to be unlocked first.
Men, we cannot just be like little gorillas, asking our wife, are you awake? That is not what a woman wants to hear. She wants to hear, "I love you." Don't be like gorillas, people!
We have to be sons of God. We've got to unlock the heart. This is key. This is essential. We have to unlock her heart. We have to unlock this first, and then the palace gate can unlock.
We must be princes and princesses. Why? In the world of absolute sex, we must be princes and princesses because we are talking about the "royal palace."
If the princess welcomes her blessed prince into her holy palace with joy, expressing her pleasure to be with him, this unlocks the prince's holy palace, which then unlocks his heart -- which is the thing that she actually wants most, the prince's heart -- with gratitude and joy. That's incredible. It's incredible give-and-receive between husband and wife, the unlocking of the hearts and of the palace....
When this virtuous cycle of life is happening between husband and wife, where the husband, as the subject partner, is taking the initiative to unlock the wife's heart, then by really winning her heart, her love -- by unlocking that -- her holy palace can unlock, and then the husband's holy palace can unlock, and then the husband's heart can unlock. This amazing power of true love begins -- as Father said -- "spinning in a vortex." Powerful. This is what we are talking about when we are talking about absolute, good sex -- blessed sex.
Yeon Ah Nim: From a woman's perspective, it's as if a woman is always in the "giving mode." Whether they have a job in society or not, they feel obligated to take care of the children, to do the housework, cooking breakfast and dinner, and when children get sick, they are the ones who have to go to pick the children up and do the consultation with the teacher, and if they're at work they have to come back, and then they have to cook dinner for everybody, for the whole family. So, the woman is always in the giving mode.
At the end of the day, the last thing she wants to do is have intimacy with her husband. She just wants to have some resting time for herself. Not only is she physically tired but she is mentally tired. She's been giving all day. She just needs some time to rest, to give herself a break at the end of the day. For a woman, it is like another time of having to give. That's why women are not always willing to initiate a good sex life.
From the man's perspective the true reason he wants to come home is to experience intimacy with his wife. For the man, that time with his wife is not only a physical thing, but the intimacy with his wife is also a healing time. It gives acceptance; it gives appreciation to the other person, [it relieves] all the "beatings," all the stress, all the failure he might feel in society; by his woman accepting him at night -- or even in the day. [Hitting-/in Him, laughing: Praise God!] To be accepted into her palace means so much to him. It's a healing time, literally.
For many women, this is very hard to understand because God designed man and woman very differently. But I believe that if a woman practices absolute sex with her husband, God will bless them more.
It's very interesting how God blesses a woman. If a woman has a lot of absolute sex with her husband, the husband is willing to help his wife more. He will help her around the house. He will -- guess what? -- listen to you more! If your husband doesn't listen to you well, I absolutely guarantee that if you practice absolute good sex with him more, he will help you, he will listen to you. Then truly God will bless your family and you as a human being.
Women are used to giving and giving, but do we really think of intimacy time as a time of giving? Is this only about us sacrificing our time? I think we women need to shift our perspective about sex. This is something through which the Heavenly Parents dwell with us, in the union with our husband. It's a wonderful time. This can unlock our husband's heart.
What a woman ultimately wants is happiness for her children. She wants her children to receive blessing. She wants her husband to receive blessing, and she wants to be happy, too.
So if that's what women ultimately want, if we really want to be blessed, the absolute good sex practice is actually a way to bring a lot of fortune and blessing into our families.
Hyung Jin Nim: I notice if my wife gets a new eye-blush color, a new hairstyle, new earrings. I notice these things, and I say it. You know, those small things -- we have to always be interested in her. I am always saying, "I love you so much. You're amazing." Every day, every minute, "Oh, you have your short socks on today -- I love those." Or "You've got your long socks on -- beautiful!" I am making those kinds of "heartistic" offerings to her heart. These can be small or large.
One thing I love about Jesus' last parable,' when he talks about new treasures and old, is that it reminds us that when there is true, absolute sex within the blessing of marriage, as Jesus says, "treasures old and new come forth from that." That means that new precious gifts continually emerge. Our motto in our marriage is, Every Year Gets Better. We've been married fifteen years now -- praise God, thank you, True Parents for blessing us for fifteen years -- and every year gets better.
Every marriage has its ups and downs. Every marriage has them. The key is to keep the trajectory going up. You cannot stop the ups and downs, you can't have a straight line up. But you don't want it going down, that is bad. You don't want it "flat-lining" -- that's not good either. You want it to make more up than down, for eternity.
Yeon Ah Nim: Hyung Jin Nim said, Notice your wife. You know, like pick up a flower for her on your way back from work. Just as he mentioned, you have to unlock your wife's heart first. That's a message for men.
But I would like to give a message to women, too: We have to recognize that our husbands are truly making effort. If he does bring a flower, you know it takes a lot of courage for a man to do that. He might say very casually that he got the flower on the way home, but that doesn't mean it is a very casual gift. He might have put a lot of thought into it, but he's a little bit shy to mention that.
So when he does something nice -- say, he took out the trash -- Oh, you're a good husband! You should say nice things to him.