Lessons from Father's Course in Danbury — SunHak Institute of History USA

Hak Ja Han, Ye Jin Moon, In Jin Moon, Kook Jin Moon, Jin Whi Hong, and Jin Sung Pak
August 20, 1986
Excerpts
Belvedere

Many deep meanings behind this day
Hak Ja Han Moon
Translated from Japanese by Kazuho Tokito.

I am very grateful to be able to celebrate this Day commemorating Danbury together with Father and such bright, healthy-looking young people as your- selves. According to His will, God has sent us the Lord of the Second Advent and revealed His providence centering on the True Parents to restore all human beings to His bosom. In order to accomplish this, God has been walking the course of suffering far beyond our own perception both spiritually and physically -- that is, through His words and through reality. And in order for us to accomplish our ultimate goal -- the establishment of the Kingdom of Heaven on earth -- we still have a very long way to walk.

When I reflect on Father's imprisonment, I feel that from my own point of view, I lost the head of my family; from a Unification Church point of view, we lost our leader; and from the viewpoint of God's will and the world, we lost the central figure of the providence.

As you know, I have many children in my family, but they are not a burden at all. Also, since Father has shown us the true standard and way of life, the goal of the church leaders should be clear. Furthermore, God's will and Father's desire is to unify all religious groups and the entire world and universe. In my opinion the task of establishing such unity and clarity of purpose is impossible without a central figure. I had always been afraid of losing our central figure, and through Danbury my fears became a reality.

My third daughter, Un Jin, likes horseback riding. You may assume that horseback riding is a very simple sport. However, in order to jump an obstacle, the horse and the person who rides it must be totally united; otherwise, they will fall or even hurt themselves. Even though you may become a "small Rev. Moon" according to Father's teaching, like a perfect horse, you will have no value at all unless you have a perfect master who can ride you.

Truthfully speaking, from the viewpoint of God and human history, this day should not be celebrated but completely eliminated. When I told you in the beginning of my speech that I am happy today, what I meant was that I can celebrate this day with gratitude because I know there are many deep meanings behind it.

It is very easy for us just to revere and follow Father, but it is not easy at all to substitute for him. I myself know very well how difficult it is to respect his mission and be able at the same time to replace him and satisfy all the people working under him. Especially through my own experience throughout that one year, I deeply understand how difficult it is to fulfill his role.

During Father's imprisonment, Heung Jin's ascension, and the process of establishing and celebrating the Day of Victory of Love and the Day of the Opening of Heaven [February 1, 1984], many significant events occurred on both internal and external levels. I went through experiences that you could hardly even imagine. Complicated things happened continuously which unfortunately I cannot explain to you one by one. I often thought, "I wish I could be imprisoned along with Father -- I would be much better off!" I was especially shocked when Dr. Pak, who was in charge of the court case during Father's absence, was kidnapped. Looking, back I know now that from a heavenly point of view those events were not necessarily damaging to us; rather, through them God kindly opened the way through which we can obtain His forgiveness and blessing.

Frankly, I often felt depressed instead of being able to maintain my hopes, but I could never show my struggle or true emotions to other people. Every time I experienced great internal suffering I realized what a difficult course Father has gone through. While comforting God he must untie the tangled fallen history. He has no one to turn to and take counsel with; he must do everything by himself -- showing the example, teaching, persuading, and leading others. Since people do not fully understand him or his words, he must educate and guide them time and time again. This time I really understood what excruciating pain he often feels.

Although I could share his life experience in this way for only one year, I am very appreciative and grateful to God. Also once again I want to thank you for gathering here today so that we can celebrate and show our respect to Father.

I have many other things I would like to tell you, but I am too emotional to say more. Whenever new opportunities arise in the future, I want to share more of my experiences with you. In conclusion I pray that the day on which God can glorify your sincerity, determination, and effort will come very soon.

A heart of faith and gratitude
Ye Jin Nim

First of all, I feel really inadequate to be standing here and addressing you, but at the same time I feel very honored and privileged. Ever since Father came to America in 1973, you and I have been with True Parents and we have shared a lot of experiences. As we commemorate this first anniversary of Father's return from Danbury, we have unforgettable memories to sustain us. Many things pass through my mind, and I would like to share some of them with you.

I am like most of you who joined in the '60s and '70s and who have been in the church ten or twenty years: We have really only read and heard about Father's life, his course to restore history, and his suffering and hardship. It's quite difficult to grasp and experience it in my own self, so as to be able to share the suffering in common. How can we connect with Father's heart? How can we learn to go the same path that Father has gone?

In the sixty years that Father has lived he has gone to prison six times; but this time I was able to witness Father's course in Danbury myself, so it was truly unforgettable for me. I remember the day it was declared that Father had to go to Danbury. He gathered all of us children together in his room. We were so dumbfounded! It was very unexpected; we never thought we would see the day that Father would have to go. We had hoped so much that he wouldn't have to go that it came as a great shock.

Father began with a prayer. He comforted us, gave us love and strength, and told us to hold on and be tough throughout the whole year. He himself was utterly calm and composed. I know that if I had been in that position I would have lost control and might have shown some tears. But Father said that we had to remain strong for the sake of this country, and that in order to save the world he would gladly go to Danbury. He showed such conviction. He thanked God for sending him to this mission and expressed hope that he could do his best.

The first day we were able to visit Father in Danbury we were all wondering how he was feeling and how the environment was affecting him. We were worried about whether bad or negative people might be trying to harm him, but when we saw him he showed us a big smile! He was trying to cheer us up as we sat before him with our heads dawn. He really tried to make himself at home in that atmosphere and was already in the process of establishing himself there. He was friendly with the other inmates, who seemed already to be overcoming the barrier of their own concepts about him. Many of the inmates showed him respect and gave their regards to his family.

During our many visits, what Father emphasized over and over again was that under any circumstances we have to keep a grateful heart. We have to overcome any individual suffering and show God's heart to the people around us. Whatever circumstances may come our way, whatever hardships we may face, we must never lose faith. I realized just how sorrowful God must be feeling to see His dearest son sent to prison. I also have children, so I have experienced a little bit of the parent's heart. How much God must be suffering to see His own son suffering! I thought. Yet He had to sacrifice His son to go through this indemnity in order to save the world. In the beginning this was very difficult for me to grasp, because Father is my own father and I didn't want him to suffer. Yet Father said over and over again that we have to follow this path no matter what comes in our way.

Even during this most difficult period, many people came to visit Father, and he in turn gave them a lot of advice and strength. He gave support to each of the members who came with difficult problems. He always tried to cheer them up and show them parental love.

Father also showed his love to us, the True Children. It was a very precious time for us to receive guidance from our Parents. We were still immature and they had to bring us up. They gave us such incredible advice about how to go the right way in our lives. Father gave us topics to write about so that we could reflect on ourselves and put our determination into words. Week by week it was a tremendous experience to see and learn more about ourselves and determine ourselves to grow and mature.

Even though Father's imprisonment in Danbury was such a painful event, it helped us to understand his heart and learn his way of life. We experienced his determination to overcome whatever obstacles were in his way and remain grateful to God, while returning glory to Him. This is the attitude I witnessed in Father during his course in Danbury, and I hope that I will be able to follow in his footsteps. I must somehow try to become a true parent and really do what True Parents have shown us. If I can learn this precious lesson, then I can freely be grateful for all the sacrifices Father made. Thank you very much.

Restore while being stricken
In Jin Nim

I am very honored to be in a position to speak on behalf of my family and on behalf of this day, which commemorates the first anniversary of Father's release from Danbury. Yet I cannot come out here and pretend that I am very happy about this anniversary. To be honest with you, I am very sad and my heart is stricken with grief because our True Father had to suffer in prison. I believe Danbury was truly a time of testing for everyone, including my family and all of you, and I believe that all of us have matured to some extent through this experience. If there is one thing that we have learned from our True Father and True Mother, it is the meaning of restoring while being stricken.

Heung Jin's accident was a surprise to all of us, and in that time of fear and desperation we grew weak and unsure of each other. At that time Satan felt that he finally had the True Family in his grip; but through the Seunghwa ceremony Father was able to restore what Satan had tried to take away. Father restored Heung Jin's life and was able to connect the spirit world and physical world through the Blessing of Heung Jin and Hoon Sook. Then Father was able to proclaim to the world that Heung Jin was qualified to stand in the position of king of the spirit world.

When Father entered prison all of us wondered what would become of the Unification Church. Right after we accompanied Father to Danbury there was a meeting at East Garden with all the leaders and True Mother. I felt desperate and fearful of what was to come, and I am sure that all the leaders, the 36 Couples, and even True Mother felt the same. Each leader stood up and slowly and deliberately spoke about what the problems were with the church that ultimately led to Father's imprisonment. That evening I was surprised when I realized how disunited the leaders, members, and all of us actually were!

While all of this was going on, I and my brothers and sisters felt very sad. I knew that Satan was right there -- witnessing this event at East Garden. I asked myself, How could this be? When Satan strikes and tries to take some- thing from us, we should be more unified and harmonious, thinking only of True Parents. How could such disunity have arisen among us? I realized tearfully that Father and Mother had actually done everything by themselves. They were completely alone. This lovely Belvedere estate, the worldwide movement established in 127 countries -- every- thing -- has been Father's doing. Father walked the path of restoration all alone.

Now once again Father was living out his words that we must restore while being stricken. That was accomplished through the religious freedom rallies and Father's work of uniting all the Christian ministers into one. Only because Father and Mother truly love mankind and want to restore this world back to God could they sustain the course Father had to go during the year he was in Danbury.

As I stand here before you I cannot begin to tell you of all the emotions that I and my family have felt, but I really believe that whatever suffering True Father and my family have gone through, it is not in vain if we can reflect on our lives and realize once again that Father is the Messiah and that he is on the earth with us right now. I sincerely hope that each one of you can feel grateful to be sitting here in front of Father. Behind each one of you is a whole line of ancestors and before you is a whole line of future generations. Whatever you are doing for Heavenly Father and True Parents, you are not alone! All your work will help build the Kingdom of Heaven on earth.

Father told us many times that if we can conceive, and if we can believe, then we can achieve. We are in a position to conceive of the Kingdom of Heaven on earth; so if we can believe in the Kingdom of Heaven on earth, we can achieve the Kingdom of Heaven on earth.

I pray that today can be a day to reflect and offer our gratitude to True Father once again for his time in Danbury prison. Thank you very much.

We must all repent
Kook Jin Nim

As Father's son, I am a proud person with a very short temper. I do not have much patience and I am quick to judge. I know that Father is like this, too, but he has lived his life forgiving everyone. My Father is truly the greatest man who ever lived on this earth!

All of us True Children have lived very quietly up until now and have not spoken about what we feel. In our family our Father and Mother have gone out to work all their lives, and we as their children have always been left behind. We could easily complain more than any of you, more than anybody. Yet now I am grateful. Father is the Son of God and has the deepest love for his own children, but he left us behind for the love of God and the love of all of you. In this way, he has actually shown me greater love.

True Father has gone such a course though there has been hardly anyone to support him. No one has been able to sacrifice his personal feelings the way our Father has. He has given everything he has and every ounce of energy. That has been his life determination. True Parents have sacrificed everything.

I myself am very sorry not to have been able to follow my True Parents as well as I could have. I am truly sorry to my True Parents that I have not been the best son I could be. How many of us are willing to sacrifice our families, our children, everything we own -- everything we take pride in -- in order to do the work of God? For many years my heart was full of anger. Yet because of the example that my True Father set, I am willing to pledge that I will sacrifice and try to follow my True Parents' course.

Our True Parents have suffered not only at the hands of the outside world -- they have also suffered from our inability to become unselfish warriors of God and give up our lives for the sake of the future and the people around us. Our brothers and sisters all around the world have suffered because of this. Our hearts are truly lacking! We have not fought hard enough for God, so we have much to repent for. Still, we must not lose our determination. Father has fought with the same strong determination all his life. He has been willing to suffer the greatest burden in Danbury because of his seriousness towards God's mission.

I can go on criticizing for the longest time, but the fact is that we all have to work harder. The fact is that none of us has understood our True Parents' heart and we are all lacking. All these years we have taken too much for granted.

We do not have enough appreciation for the Principle, which Father labored for so many years to win from the spirit world. Many of us have even been using the Principle in our own way. How can we face True Father?

All my life I have seen True Father swallow what he felt. Because he understands all of you, he has been willing to wait and to let you grow. How great that is, that the Son of God should wait for all of us! He feels so much for everybody, so he is waiting patiently -- for every single person! Many times he has said that if he had even 100 people who really followed him and fulfilled their missions, then restoring the world would be no problem.

Still, as Unification Church members we all have one God, common Parents, and one belief. Therefore we must not be quick to accuse or condemn one another. If we know the truth, how can we say we are different from each other? We cannot judge our brothers and sisters. From now on we must march as one family, one tribe, one nation, and one world. From now on we have to follow True Parents' idea and example, because they have paved the road to reach God. They have given us the formula to connect with God's suffering heart and become His true children.

In order to become true sons and daughters our hearts must be willing to endure the greatest suffering and even sustain unbearable loneliness and sorrow. Then we can rise up and go to God's heart and restore His suffering. Thank you.

Understanding God's Shim Jung
Jin Whi Nim

As Father's family suffered through the course of Danbury, I looked closely at everything that was occurring. My experience with True Parents is still limited, and it is virtually impossible for me to perceive their true caliber. Perhaps what I can perceive is at best the tip of the iceberg. Since my Blessing to Ye Jin Nim five years ago, I feel that I have grown and matured. However, as I look back I realize that I have done so only because of the blood and suffering of our True Parents.

I came to America in 1982 and received this very special Blessing to Ye Jin Nim. For two years thereafter I attended Father's speech virtually every Sunday. During that time I felt closer to God than ever before. Every word Father spoke made a deep impression on me, and I was educated and nurtured in this way. I trembled with joy and excitement as Father described the creation and the love of God. When he prayed in tears I knew I was listening to the truth. Really, I was a little baby who couldn't understand what my Parents were doing for me. Then the shock of Danbury came.

True Parents consoled us without even a hint of frustration or desperation. I don't know how many times I had pledged that I would live up to the expectations of God and True Parents, but I wasn't able to practice Father's teachings fully in my own life. After Father went to Danbury I felt that I had not fulfilled my responsibility and was ashamed of myself. I knew that I had to go right to the center of Father's heart in order to understand God's Shim Jung. Such heart does not come for nothing: Only throw h suffering, tribulation, heartache -- even the betrayal of the people closest to us -- can we understand what God's Shim Jung is like -- and even then, not entirely.

I remember once when I heard Father deep in prayer, crying "Aboji!" For him the word Aboji is not just a simple word that we use in everyday life: It is a direct link to God's heart. It shows that he is indeed feeling and sharing the agony of God.

This anniversary should be a time for reflection and the appraisal of our lives; it should be a time for new maturity. I hope that we can be reborn and come closer to the heart of True Parents. I am eternally grateful for what Father has done in Danbury, for the lesson of his absolute faith, and unchanging attitude towards (,od. As long as we have life and breath we should never give up our faith and determination. That is the only way we can reach the Shim Jung of God and True Parents. I want to inherit their heart and standard and tradition. God, True Parents, thank you very much.

Inherit True Children's passion
Jin Sung Nim

I was asked to join the True Family about two and a half years ago. In the wintertime after Heung Jin Nim's accident, the True Children were very heavy in heart, but True Father was able to hold a special Blessing for my sister and Heung Jin Nim. This brought Heung Jin Nim to the pinnacle of the spirit world where he could stand as king.

All of this took place in the second year of Father's last providential three-year course. I realized more and more that I was entering a spiritual hurricane, a life-and-death battle. Standing next to the true sons and daughters, I was able to see how impure and unworthy I was, yet I was washed clean in a way by their incredible love as they and the True Parents embraced me with all of their heart.

Then, as you know, came the trial -- that incredible battle between God and Satan, between True Parents and Satan. At that time the True Family held a vigil every night in the cold of winter to pray for this country and the world, asking for God's forgiveness and new hope. All along I could not believe what was happening. I know that because of the lack of faith and unity among all of the leaders and on down to the very last member, True Father had to go the course of Danbury, all alone.

Later Father encouraged me to go to law school. There I realized that all of the legal scholars in this country were beginning to awaken to the fact that an incredible injustice had been perpetrated against this man of God. One professor even asked me to present a paper about Father's court case. As I studied more and more and delved deeper and deeper into the issues I realized how incredibly unjust it was. You must know clearly what has come to pass. Just as when the mob cried out for Jesus to be crucified, the court system in this land of freedom pitted twelve people against Father, even after he had asked to be tried by a judge. A jury must be composed of unbiased jurors, but forty percent of the 1,000 people surveyed in New York said they would put Rev. Moon in jail no matter what was said in court. How can we possibly say those twelve people were fair?

God raised this country up to be His champion. It was His original ideal for America to be the land of the just, where people could be free to worship God. True Father came and has struggled for the last 14 years. The American members especially must realize what their country has done to True Parents.

I truly want to inherit the passion of the true sons and daughters. As you witnessed today, Ye Jin Nim, In Jin Nim, and Kook Jin Nim have incredible heart and passion to follow True Parents no matter what. Because of the suffering of True Father and his family we have reached the turning point; but if you do not hear what he is saying and do not go in the direction he is pointing, he himself says that we may all suffer total destruction. This is a very serious time. I pledge and hope that all of you can join with me to follow our Father and Mother unto our very lives. Thank you very much.

Lakshmi priya